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The soup is hot. The wine is delicious. The kids giggle, and the adults laugh loudly.

It’s the perfect night. And I wish Cami were sitting next to me so I could put my arm around her shoulders. Apologize for the way I acted earlier in our room.

“All right!” Gloria says, raising her glass from the end of the table and standing, looking over her family with a sweeping gaze. “Does everyone know what we’re doing tonight?”

One of the older kids says excitedly, “Northern lights!”

“That’s right!” Gloria says, grinning from ear to ear. She’s wearing a silver dress, her hair to the side in an elegant twist. “Tonight, we’re going to try and see the northern lights. Just so everyone is prepared, it’s going to be really cold out there, and it’s going to be dark. And there’s a good chance that even picking the darkest night, even going to the perfect spot, we still might not see them.”

“And that’s okay!” Chris says, sloshing his glass in his wife’s direction. “Because that means we’d have a good reason to come back next year!”

Laughter echoes around the table, some of it genuine, and some of it the kind of laugh kids do when it’s their dad being a dork. Something in my stomach twists at the sound of it. What would it feel like to be on the receiving end of that? To have a family that would laugh, even when my jokes weren’t particularly funny?

Once again, I find myself looking at Cami. Watching her as she fixes a younger girl’s braid, carefully unsnagging it from a sparkly headband and reworking the strands. Her hands are careful, her face calm and soothing. She says something under her breath that makes the little girl laugh.

As much as I hated reading that letter, Cami knows what’s best for her. If she wants a family, and she feels like Dunne Tech takes too much from her, then she should step back. She should go after whatever is going to make her happy.

And she doesn’t need me to tell her that. She’s always been bold, bright. If she wants holiday decorations, she’ll get them. If she wants time away from work to start a family, she’ll make it work.

That’s what I like about her.

It’s what I love about her.

The thought sticks in my head as I watch her with the little girl, imagining her having a little girl of her own. A husband, a family.

Cami will make an excellent mother.

“Here’s to the northern lights,” Gloria says, in response to her husband. We all raise our glasses, and before cheersing, Gloria adds, “And tempering our expectations.”

We cheers, and this time, when I glance at Cami through the din, her eyes catch mine. There’s something I don’t quite understand there, behind her gaze, but I don’t have time to tease it apart, because we’re packing up and heading back to get changed.

It’s time to go hunting for the northern lights.

CHAPTER 22

CAMI

The company taking us out to see the northern lights has a specialized snow cruiser with treads that allow us to cross the snowy landscape at a decent speed. Inside, there are rows of benches, our group divided into two. I almost wish I was back on the snowmobile, wind in my hair.

Or I wish I was back at dinner, able to talk with everyone else rather than pay attention to Patrick. He sits next to me, but he’s looking out the window, a strange expression on his face. He’s probably still mad at me about the resignation letter.

I regret the way he found it. But I meant what I said about needing to take the time off. And him finding that letter—giving me a chance to take it back, to claim it was just a joke—proved to me that taking a break is really what I need. At the office, when I was typing the letter, I’d almost felt like a defiant teenager.

Now, after that discussion, I feel more sure of my decision. Even facing Patrick down wasn’t enough to make me change my mind.

Outside the windows of the snow cruiser, the city landscape drops away, opening up into rolling hills, all covered in a thick layer of snow. Trees dot the hills in the distance. The further we go, the darker it gets, and I just know that when we step outside, the stars are going to be stunning.

I remember every year in January, when the town would finally turn off our holiday lights, there was something magical about being able to see the stars again. I loved the Christmas displays, but lying on the porch with my sisters and pointing out constellations was our own, different kind of pleasure.

Some of the kids complain about being hot, which is fair. We’re all bundled up to look like marshmallows on here, preparing for the harsh weather outside. Even Patrick took Gloria’s advice and added two more sweaters to his outfit.

I sweat the whole way out to our stop, but the moment we clamber off, I’m glad I’m in so many layers. The night is stinging and brutal, but Gloria says the cold is good; it should allow us to see the lights. A brisk wind whips around us, tossing snow up into the air like a handful of glitter.

Once we’re out in the snow, the guide tells us we can feel free to spread out, but not to go so far that we can’t see the cruiser anymore. I stay right where I am, not interested in getting chewed up by a wolf. I don’t even know if there are wolves here, but I’m not chancing it. But then Patrick tugs on my sleeve and draws me away from the rest of the group.

Oh, right. We need to put on a show of being lovey-dovey for the Morenos, even when the last thing I’m feeling about my boss right now is affectionate.

Still, I walk along with him, accepting his offered thermos of hot chocolate. The sip I take is smooth and warm and pools in my belly, warming me all the way through. It’s definitely worth being out here with him, just to have the rich drink in my hand.