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I tried to forget about the noise, and enjoy the night with the guys, but every few minutes, I was surveying the room for my brother…

And more importantly, her.

Chapter Thirteen

Stepping Out

Kennedy

I pressed my palm to the fogged glass and gave it a good swish. The strawberry-blonde hair I’d inherited from my mother lay in long, wet, loose curls.

I reached for my usual detangler and stopped short.

It was early. Why would I tuck myself in just to avoid him? Why would I tuck myself away and give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d had any effect on me at all?

I popped the white corner cabinet open, surveying my arsenal of likely outdated hair products. I selected a few and gave them a shake, snagging the straightening iron before I faced the mirror again.

“Don’t stop now,” I pepped talked myself, before spraying the long mess of it and fingering the fragrant product down to the scalp. I carefully dried and styled until my hair laid in a long, shiny curtain.

There wasn’t any frizz or dullness. No indent where the ponytail had secured it all day.

I was a completely different woman tonight.

I caught myself smiling at my reflection and decided to go the whole nine yards. My makeup box hadn’t been opened since before the funeral, so I’d kind of forgotten what was even in there.

I knew I couldn’t use most of it anymore, but my mother had always favored samples. Like a good daughter, I’d accepted them at the time with gratitude and a smile. Being a creature of habit, I never truly believed I’d put any of it to use. Now, I was scrounging the bottom of my tiny trunk picking out the paler foundations and the tiniest lip liner sample I’d ever seen in my life.

The eyeshadows were a little darker than I normally played with. By the time I had them lined and the mascara on, they were so striking, I questioned whether I’d actually leave the house that way.

I took a shaky breath and went to the closet. It wasn’t usually that hard to dress myself. The clothes I kept didn’t really vary much in style these days. I had distressed jeans. Some bought that way, others I’d held onto so long that they’d worn themself ragged. I flipped past flannel after flannel until I was left with the solid-colored V-neck tees.

I sucked my teeth and glanced toward the back. It was an area that I usually avoided, ignored, and otherwise pretended didn’t exist. My old prom dresses blocked the view for the most part. They were a huge contrast to the simple things I hid in these days.

I took a deep breath, and scraped the hanger along the suspended rod, until the bags of my last shopping trip with my mother were exposed. Their handles were secured by hangers, the contents likely still tagged and folded.

I couldn’t even recall what was in them.

I’d set the stuff on my bed and left for a weekend with my friends, while she was off for a weekend hunt with my brother.

When she never returned, they’d sat in a corner until I eventually placed them in the closet. I was too afraid of what emotions would come if I actually tried putting any of it away.

I shakily took the bright, neon-green bag down and slid the hanger from the handle.

Inside was a soft, long-sleeved, form-fitting sweater. I’d never consider anything with soft peach and lilac coloring now, but I smiled recalling how she’d complimented the way it looked on me when we picked it out.

It was a different time.

A different me.

That girl was going to college, while I was heading to a biker bar.

Another bag was resting in the bottom. As soon as I saw the name of the store, I knew what it was. She’d stopped to get her rings cleaned that day. While we waited on the sales lady to take down her information, I’d stopped to admire a pair of threader earrings with tiny skulls on it. Each skull alternated between diamond and onyx.

They were pricey and I never expected her to buy them, but when we’d stopped for pretzels, she’d surprised me with them.

“To go with your outfit, for the party,” she’d said.

The party! I was supposed to go to a damned Halloween party that week, I’d forgotten all about it. I left the sweater and the empty bag on my bed and took the pink bag in hand.