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The three of us were on Gabriel’s couch, cuddling under blankets. We were watching an old cartoon that I spent my entire childhood loving, and I couldn’t be happier. Gabriel told me I could contact anyone if I needed help. So far, I hadn’t needed it.
I’d kept them fed and alive. That was a win in my book.
Did I need to sleep for a week? Absolutely.
I now understood why Grace upped her caffeine intake after having Sammy. I was seriously considering doing the same. These two were a full-time job.
Eventually, Agnes dozed off and I watched her with a small smile on my face.
Beatrice was still awake.
“Do you know my mommy?”
I paused. I knew what Gabriel had told me about her, but I didn’t know anything else.
“No, I don’t.”
“She’s the best mommy.” Beatrice frowned. “She went somewhere else, though. And she’s not coming back.”
“I’m sorry. People do that sometimes, in many different ways.”
“I’m sad. I don’t know what to do.”
“Sometimes there isn’t anything to do. Sometimes . . . life is just sad.”
“Gabriel left us too.”
My heart felt like it was beating out of rhythm. It took me back to the late nights when I was first accepting that Gabriel had left me.
“He’s coming back.”
“But he could go away again.”
My heart was cracking in two.
“He cares about you a lot,” is what I finally settled on. “So, he wouldn’t leave, if it were his choice.”
Beatrice was quiet. “I don’t know if I can like him.”
“Why not? He’s taking care of you.”
“Because he could leave. It’s not worth it to like him if he leaves.”
“It is,” I assured her. I knew, more than anyone, that I was speaking from experience. “I promise you it’s worth it, even if he leaves.”
The worst part about staying at Gabriel’s was that his bed was ridiculously comfortable. Even though I had never slept here, I felt at home and got better sleep than I did in my own place.
The first night, I tried to avoid it and slept on the couch. Instead, I woke up face down right in the center of the mattress. The second night, I didn’t even try to fight it.
I planned to change the sheets today and pretend I never slept here. What Gabriel didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
The door slammed open, and Agnes and Beatrice jumped on the bed. A knee hit me right in the kidney and I thought I was going to die.
“There you are!” Agnes said.
“We saw a raccoon this morning!” Beatrice yelled.
I slowly sat up, still recovering from whoever decided to attack me with their knee.