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“I love you,” he said between each thrust, unsure whether he was thinking the words or saying them. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
He’d never intended to let her into his life. What a fool he’d been. Now he couldn’t see a future without her.
Later, when blood returned to his brain and Addy curled against him, he said the words again—needing her to hear them.
Tilting her head, she studied him as though he were the Book of Kells. “Think long and hard if you really mean that.”
The analytical part of her wouldn’t accept the words without proof. Brushing a damp lock of hair from her forehead, he said it again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Addy held his gaze, and his heart exploded. “I know it hasn’t been long—”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“But it might in a few weeks. By then, you’ll remember just how we met, what Kyle did—”
“Addy—”
“I have never known anyone who can get over being hurt by Kyle. I can’t worry every day that you’ll look at me and remember him and eventually you’ll hate me.”
It took him a while to answer. How to explain something he himself was only starting to understand? “I’ve hated Kyle for a long time. I don’t know if I can ever forgive what he did, and I know I’ll never forget it. But when I look at you, I don’t see him. I only see you. A woman who pushes back on my bullshit. Who stands her ground and loves her family fiercely. I admire your loyalty to him, even when he doesn’t deserve it.”
“You say that now. JB said he could get over it, too, but he never looked at me in the same way again. I can’t bear to see resentment in your eyes.”
Taking her hand, he placed a kiss to the center of her palm. “I’ve known who you were going into this. I’ve never resented you. Only your role in not holding him responsible.”
She chewed on her lower lip, still swollen from his kisses. “I’m done fixing his messes, Oliver.”
“And if the urge strikes you later, we’ll figure it out. Somehow. Together. Take a chance on this. On us.”
If he’d been standing, the look on her face would have dropped him to his knees. So much love. So much hope.
“Wow,” she said, the word low, wondrous. “Maybe that Tara wish really did work.”
He stroked across her flushed cheek. “What’d you wish for?”
Her smile was soft. “This.”
“I wished for this too.” He met her halfway, catching her mouth with his.
Too soon, she pulled away. “But I need you to be honest with me. If my ties to Kyle are too much for you, let me know soon. I won’t be able to walk away later.”
“Don’t walk away, Addy. I’ve gone years without feeling much besides anger and depression, thinking that my life was over. I’ve existed. Surgery after surgery, doctor after doctor. My vision came back. I could eat solid food again. I was surrounded by family and friends. I knew I should be grateful. I could be dead, or permanently blind. But I couldn’t adjust.”
“Oliver—”
“No, let me finish. My family practically uprooted their lives to be there for me. I had the best doctors, the best care. I know how lucky I was. But I couldn’t feel anything. If I let myself feel, I’d fall apart and I owed it to them to be strong. To pretend I was fine. My body was here, but my soul was gone. And then I opened the door and there stood you, in that green dress, with your hair all wild, all that grass behind you. I couldn’t let you walk out of my life, and I didn’t even know you. The thing I thought I’d hate—your devotion to your brother—is what I admire most about you. You don’t back down. You have a beautiful heart.”
Shifting until she was eye to eye with him, she kissed the corners of his mouth—first the one that still had mobility, then the scarred one that didn’t, in that usual Addy pattern he’d come to love.
“You were so distant and so angry when I met you, but I couldn’t stay away. You know that night I made steak? I was really hoping to lure you downstairs. Yes, I needed information, but I also wanted to get to know you.” Her face clouded. “I have to go to Seattle.”
“I’ll go with you.” The words came out before he even processed them, but he meant them.
“You’d go to Seattle with me, just like that?”
“Yes. We’re in this mess together now.”
She studied him for a long moment, like she was still deciding whether to believe him. Finally, she smiled that beaming Addy smile that had imprinted on his soul forever. “It’s rainy there.”
