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“Than?”

I cast him a glance that could easily be interpreted as insinuating he was the poor company.

He snorted his amusement and went down on one knee to wash his hands in the clear stream. “Tell me, my lady, what has soured your mood? I leave you dripping and sated from my attentions to see to my men and return to you wandering away from the safety of base camp toward the most dangerous thing that cuts through my lands, shunning my attention.”

“Water is dangerous?”

“The most dangerous of all things, my lady. Water flows through every corner of Magh Meall. It carries with it the eyes and ears of magic. It carries with it the divine power of magic. If the silly Fae had not propped themselves up as gods, then water would have been one of their primordial gods.”

“And the others?”

He shook his hands, flinging silver droplets across the stream reminding me of the dream that haunted me ever since he pulled me from that hole in the mountain. Pushing to tower above me, he cast me a long look that spoke of the patience he would have no problem using, should I wish to keep running away from the topic. I was starting to hate him; he was too clever, too keen. He paid too much attention and was too hard to push off course from conversations I didn’t want to take part in.

Silence stretched out between us as we waged a war of stubborn willpower. Him, unwilling to step away from the original point he was seeking to get to. Me, unwilling to answer his question honestly. I could lie. Brittle Spear wasn’t truly a good person; he was Fae, after all. By their very nature, Fae could not be good. The fact that they counted me among their ranks really only sealed that truth. I had never been a good person, and I never would be.

“I see.” He adjusted the armor plates that had moved in his bid to clean his hands. “Very well, my lady. You may keep your tongue as long as you want. I have ages, eons even, that I can wait to have my answer. I will not forget what I have asked. It is your choice when and if you wish to share it. I will not force the issue. But I will also not countenance you trying to play me for a fool. I cannot be pushed to and fro like a cock-sick fop. So . . . as you wish, my lady.”

He gave me a gentle bow, excusing himself, and walked away. There was no argument. There was no begging me to tell him what was wrong. I wasn’t sure if I liked it that way.

All I knew was that it left me with my little fishy friend and the morose bitterness churning within me over what I had done. I enjoyed it. I had wanted it. I had even needed it. But now that I was done, my orgasm no longer heating my blood, I was left with a sad realization. Even if I had hoped Emrys and I could one day overcome the mountain of bullshit and regrets living between us, that magic would somehow solve our bond problem, it would never be. I had sealed that deal, cut off its head before it even had a chance to grow.

He had made it clear that he had no problem sharing me, but only on his terms, with him present, with whoever he chose. And I had taken that from him, even if he never found out. Even if Brittle Spear never spoke a single word of it, which was an impossibility, I would know what I had done. The betrayal I had committed.

When the party began to saddle back up for the next leg of our journey, I expected to have my own horse prepared. When the pretty little mare that had been tied to the back wagon was being led back to the very same spot, she had not been saddled.

Consternation pulled my face into a frown.

“Oh, did you think I would let you have the convenience of avoiding me?” asked Brittle Spear as he trotted up and leaned down to capture my waist.

“You said you wouldn’t force the issue.”

“And so I will not. You will tell me what has soured your mood of your own accord. And until you do so, nothing else will change. You will ride with me. I was very clear. Honest and true communication. That was my expectation. You agreed. I will not allow you to wriggle free of that so easily.” He tilted his dark-haired head as he watched me.

“I think I should ride alone.” I kept my voice flat. Even. Nothing in it, as hollow as the hole in the mountain I had fallen through.

His ancient eyes watched me, silence pooling around us thick and choking. I thought he would deny me, but instead he slipped from his horse and took my hand, guiding me back to the exact spot at the stream where we had our spat earlier, if it was even a spat. Once there, he gently led me to sit by the water. He said nothing, though, continuing to let the silence eat away at me.

When I could bear it no longer, the way he studied me, the way he seemed to hang on every breath I took, I broke.

“You swore an oath to me. Not one bound by magic. So, you are free to leave whenever you wish.”

He scowled, the gesture cutting deep furrows into his forehead and lips. “In theory, yes.”

“Ah.”

“And this troubles you? You think I would lead you and your friends out into the wilds of the Nightmare lands and abandon you after a single romp? Do you think I only came to your rescue, spending vast hordes of magic to move my men safely through my lands without being seen, just to . . . what? To have you ride a wooden dildo and spin me dirty stories?”

“No . . .”

“Honesty, Banfhlaith. I can smell a lie, a falsehood, like cat shit on grass. I will have honesty, or we will not have this conversation at all.”

I groaned and scrubbed my hand down my face. “No. Yes? Maybe? I don’t know! It’s all a jumble, and I hate it. I came to this stupid fucking place with emotions I could easily control. Measured. Easy. I knew what I would feel about any situation, but here? I have no clue. My emotions seem to skip from one thought to another, and all of them are dialed up to ten. If I’m happy, I’m giggling like a maniac. If I’m horny, I can barely say no. If I’m a little miffed, I’m ready to murder. I hate it!”

A knowing smile scrubbed the scowl from his features, and he leaned back. “So, it is true. Humans have but one heart, and they guard it jealously. I have never had the pleasure of a human lover, of course. And while you are delightfully not human in flesh, you are human in heart. So, you feel bad about what we did in the forest?”

“How the fuck did you get that out of all that?”

“I’ve told you once, I am ancient.” He snorted and leaned forward. “Tell me true, Banfhlaith. What about our tryst in the woods bothers you so?”