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She faced him. “Why not? It should be. You either want to or you do not.”
He worked his jaw and clasped his hands behind his back. “I want to do my duty.”
Her lips pressed together.
“I thought you would be delighted.”
“As did I. I find that instead I am quite sad.”
He surveyed her. There were few occasions when he could remember having a conversation with Mother that had interested rather than annoyed him. “Why?”
“Because you are my son, Archie. I want you to be happy.”
“I thought you wanted me to be married.”
“Can I not want both?”
He stared at her. “I do not think so. You of all people know that.”
Her brows pinched together. “Meaning what, precisely?”
Archie let out a caustic laugh. “Come, Mother. We have lived in the same house for twenty-eight years. I may have been young, but I was not stupid. I watched you and Father fall out of love.”
She looked away.
“It was painful enough to witness,” he said. “I have no wish to live it myself. I would rather marry practically.”
It was quiet as their gazes held.
“Shall we go inside?” He turned toward the door.
“I never fell out of love with your father, Archie.”
He paused, grasping the handle.
“We simply…stopped.”
Slowly, Archie turned. “Stopped what?”
Her shoulders rose helplessly. “Everything.”
He frowned at the unhelpful answer.
“Love requires work, my dear. It requires communication. Truth.”
He waited for her to go on.
“Your father had a great deal on his mind when you were young. He was new to his position and title. Overwhelmed, no doubt. And I felt neglected. Rather than telling him as much, I pestered him. I complained. And when that did not work, I turned to friends and company to cure my loneliness. He saw me frittering my life away in pleasures and retreated further into his work.”
Archie had never seen Mother look so pitiful, so sad.
“It is my greatest regret that I did not try harder. Try something different.” Her voice trembled, and she put a hand to her mouth, taking a moment before continuing. “That I did not tell him how I truly felt.”
Seconds passed as Archie processed what she was saying. What he had never guessed.
He stepped toward her, wrapped an arm around her, and pulled her to him. He held her in a way he had not done in years and pressed a kiss to her bonnet.
“I could not bear it,” she whispered with uneven breaths, “if you lost yourself in your duty at the expense of a happiness you might have had.”
