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I scuff the tip of my boot on the ground, squinting.
“You ever feel resentful toward me for steering your career, you know…given how it went in the last few years?” I say finally.
“Resentful?’
“Yeah.”
He shakes his head. “Why would I be resentful? We did all that together.”
“Did we?”
The knot in my chest loosens. I’ve carried it around for so long, putting it to bed, waking up with it. Wondering if everything that’s ever happened to him, and any of my clients, is my fault. Whether I’m a shitty agent for not being there at all times to protect them. These are the things that kept me up at night. The questions Serena’s warmth shut down so I could finally rest.
Coen gives me a look, a familiar one. The look he used to give me when I’d sit on our tour bus catastrophizing.
“Hey, man, you need to calm the fuck down,” he remarks.
“Okay,” I say, throwing up a hand. “Thank you for that.”
“I mean it. You need a therapist or something to lay out the boundaries of your job and where your responsibility ends. Because you don’t have boundaries with this shit and it’s eating you up.”
I open my mouth to push back. Then I shut it.
“Okay, I get it,” I say finally.
He turns to the house, gesturing. “And if you’re gonna be with Serena, you’ll need some pretty strong boundaries so you don’t act like her agent when you’re supposed to be her boyfriend.”
I know that, but he’s right—easier said than done.
“You talked to her dad yet?” Coen says.
The bottom drops out of my stomach. I kind of forgot about her parents and the fact I’ll have to go through telling them that we’re together and that Serena has an agent and it has nothing to do with me or ITA. I shake my head.
“I will cross that damn bridge when I get to it,” I say.
“You’ll be fine,” he says. “Not like he can do anything about it.”
“Is he coming back from Portland anytime soon?”
Coen shakes his head. “Not till the holidays. He’s having some trouble traveling, but I thought I’d bring Sabrina up there in December after we visit her mom.”
“That’d be good,” I say. “I’ll let Serena take the lead on that one.”
He starts walking back to the house, and I fall into step beside him. We don’t talk, not until he pauses outside the front door and lets out a sigh.
“We both got a lot going on,” he says.
“Yeah, we do,” I agree.
He doesn’t move. Finally, he clears his throat. “Glad we’re getting to do it together.”
Maybe if we were different people, we’d hug it out. Instead, I nod in agreement.
“Yep,” I say. “Reckon we’re pretty lucky.”
The Maligators loiter on the porch. I scratch their heads on the way in, hanging behind to gather my head a bit. It’s been a strange fucking week, that’s for sure. As I step into the hall, it’s clear by the excited chatter that the news has already been spread. I round the corner, and Serena glances at me over her sister’s head in a clear oh-my-God expression.
“Everything’s good,” I mouth.
