Page 84

An insidious sense of guilt writhed under my skin. Maybe something felt off because once again I’d messed with bonds without consent. I’d gotten whispers of shock and fear from the guys’ heartstrings, but they were working hard to keep them locked down and out of reach. It didn’t help my anxiety.

With a wavering inhale, I opened the shower door and wrapped a thick towel around me. I knew that Rami was just beyond the bathroom door, waiting in his bedroom. Our heartstring had become an unbreakable cord, allowing me to sense him so much more deeply. He was pensive, distress and worry fighting for dominance over gratitude and longing.

But I couldn’t hide in here forever. Still in my towel, I opened the bathroom door to find him sitting at the foot of his bed. His big body was bowed over, elbows braced on his knees. He was wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants, and his hair was still damp from the shower he must’ve taken in another bathroom. He lifted his face and straightened when I walked in.

Despite the conflict raging in my heart, heat rushed through me as I took him in, and a wetness gathered between my thighs that had nothing to do with the shower. The feeling startled me with its intensity. It was a craving that was primal and loud and demanding. My hands started to tremble with the need to touch him again, but my feet stayed stuck to the floor.

I shouldn’t have felt like this after everything that just happened, right?

We stared at each other for a moment before he dragged himself to his feet with a heavy sigh. “I’ll find you something to wear to sleep.”

“Wait,” I stopped him from turning toward the walk-in closet. “Did I do something wrong?”

Sadness crossed his face. “Why would you think that?”

“Everyone has been weird since we left the hospital, and no one is talking to me, and I feel this restless energy like I want to claw my skin off if I can’t touch you. I don’t know what I did, but I feel like it must have been wrong even though it felt like the right thing to do and I⁠—”

Rami had moved to stand in front of me as I rambled, and he silenced me with his thumb over my lips. “Shh, kulta. You did nothing wrong. I would have died.” He tipped my head back to meet his eyes. “We’ll explain everything in the morning, when we’ve all rested and calmed down.”

“I’m scared, nallukka.” The nickname tripped out of my mouth on its own. I’d looked up the Finnish nickname meaning ‘teddy bear’ after he told me about his tattoo. At the time, I thought it was cute, but I never found the courage to use it. I don’t even know why I used it now.

Rami’s eyes darkened, a bolt of lust hitting me squarely in the chest. “Say it again.”

I fidgeted and bit at my lip. “Nallukka.”

“Where did you learn this?” He traced my bottom lip with the rough pad of his thumb.

I took a sharp breath and gripped the ends of the towel a little tighter. “Google.”

“You learned it for me?”

I barely had a chance to nod before he bent to kiss me. I melted against him, hands clutching at his arms as he tipped me back. We realized what happened at the same moment when the towel fell around our bare feet. Rami squeezed his eyes shut, forehead against mine. He forced an extra inch of space between our bodies, but he couldn’t hide the growing bulge in his sweatpants.

“If you want to go to bed⁠—”

“No.” I cut him off, the word laced with panic. “Rami, please. I need you.”

He groaned, deep in his chest. “You must be certain. Olet neitsyt, and I am not small. I should not be your first.”

I didn’t have to know what neitsyt meant to know what it meant. “I’m sure.” I brought a hand up to sift through his damp waves. “I want it to be you. I…I need it to be you.”

His fingers twitched at my hips. “You are protected?”

“Yes, I have an implant.”

A stream of muttered Finnish spilled from him, taking his resolve with it. Without effort, he lifted me into his arms, his big hands warm under my bare ass. He claimed my mouth again, savoring me like a rich delicacy, unhurried and thorough. His fingers kneaded at my flesh as he pulled me firmly against him, and the hard ridge of his cock teased my center. I moaned against his lips and shifted my hips, aching for friction.

“Please.” I arched my neck when his mouth moved to the pulse fluttering in my neck. “I’m ready.”

He growled, the sound rumbling over my skin. “You are not ready.” He laid me back on the bed and pulled away. I went still as his gaze roamed over my naked body, worshipping from head to toe. He gripped himself through his sweatpants, squeezing. “I want to taste you.”

My heart jumped with nervous excitement, and I dipped my chin in a nod. With a relieved sound, he moved over me, pressing one more kiss to my lips before making a trail down my body. Between my breasts. Over my stomach. Until he was nestling his wide shoulders into the cradle of my thighs. My breath stuttered as he inhaled deeply. Then he wedged his hands under my ass and lifted my hips before I felt the first broad sweep of his tongue.

I jolted with a cry like he’d just touched me with a live wire. He did it again, and my hands flew to his head, sinking into his hair and holding on for dear life. His lips curled against me in a satisfied smirk, and he gave up all pretense of patience. With an animalistic growl, he devoured me with obscene abandon.

I dug my heels into his back, writhing shamelessly against his face. While he lashed my clit with his tongue, he pressed a finger into me. First one, then two, stretching me. My breaths grew choppy, whimpers falling out in incoherent syllables as he twisted that coil inside me tighter and tighter. My fists clenched in his hair, tugging mercilessly.

“So close!” I gasped, chest arching. “Rami!”