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“Well . . . the fact that I was almost murdered by air-conditioning in the middle of October doesn’t feel very superficial, but I think I’m okay. Check back in three business days, after I find my equilibrium, for a real answer, though.”
“That’s valid.” God help me, he has dimples.
Earth to Teeny: You almost died. Focus on the dimples at another time.
The notifications on both our phones buzz like angry bees, and I finally find the strength to investigate.
Callie (Unit: 1205): What is happening? Was that an earthquake?
Jillian (Unit: 510): My whole condo shook!
Lissa (Unit: 815): Oh my god! Is this the rapture??? I saw something on TikTok saying it was coming!
Stanley (Unit: 1007): It might’ve been a drone strike. I think I saw a UFO in the sky.
Denny (Unit: 1106): It was not a drone strike. Or aliens.
Stanley (Unit: 1007): You don’t know what I see, Denny!
Jillian (Unit: 510): I think I saw a helicopter. Was that Ken flying it???
Denny (Unit: 1106): Pretty sure Ken fucked up big time.
Normally, Rita wouldn’t tolerate the use of the word fuck in her precious Magnolia Connect chat, but the fact that her husband nearly flattened me with industrial HVAC equipment probably has her walking on eggshells.
Rita Fortune: Please remain calm. There has been a minor incident involving a delivery from Fortune Heating & Cooling.
Stanley (Unit: 1007): Is the mail room okay?
Callie (Unit: 1205): Did Ken crash into our building, Rita???? Is the building going to collapse????
Rita Fortune: The building will not collapse. And Ken is FAA certified. He is a very skilled pilot and because of his skills he prevented an unpreventable disaster from being worse than it could’ve been.
“Minor incident? Unpreventable disaster?” I stare at my phone. “Ken Fortune dropped an AC unit through my balcony doors!”
Shane’s jaw tics a little as he shakes his head. “I don’t think you have any serious injuries, but let’s go downstairs and have a paramedic take a look at you just to be safe. Do you feel like you can walk?”
“I’m fine, Shane,” I say. “Seriously. I don’t need a medic to look at me.”
“Technically, you’re in shock, so you can’t trust your own pain indicators.”
“Oh.” I try to take mental inventory of my body, but the damn thing feels like it’s vibrating from my head to my freaking toes. I start to blush with embarrassment, but he stops it before it can take hold.
“Hey. You’re doing great. Handling this way better than I would be.”
Another notification from Magnolia Connect lights up our phones. I quickly scan my screen.
Rita Fortune: Everyone please make your way to the lobby. Calmly.
Shane offers a warm smile as he finishes taping up the bandage on my arm. “Come on.” He nods toward his front door. “At the very least, we need a medical report should you decide to sue Ken and Rita Fortune’s Heating and Cooling and become the new queen of Nashville.” I guffaw, and he smiles. “You feel like you can stand up?”
“Like I said, I’m fine.”
“Don’t underestimate the adrenaline that’s currently pumping through your system. Stand up slowly.” He holds out both hands and I take them to pull myself to my feet. “How are you feeling now?”
“Fine.”
He lets out a half laugh and half sigh. “Pretty sure that’s the worst word in the English language, but for some reason women love to use it.”
