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Choosing the love of your life.

That one sticks.

Is Juliet the love of my life?

Something gets said that cues Juliet to turn and face me. So I do the same.

We hold hands. She smiles at me then turns back to the officiant to listen as he talks.

And I’m left studying her face.

Is Juliet the love of my life?

That same uneasiness slowly creeps back in.

Quiet at first.

Then louder.

A pressure in my chest that has nothing to do with cold feet.

Or turning out like my dad.

Because I’m not afraid I’ll leave Juliet. That’s not the problem. I know I won’t. If I make the promise, I’ll keep it.

I’ll stay.

Even if, years from now, I wonder if I’ve made a mistake.

Even if we both know we did.

I’ll stay because that’s what I do.

Even if, deep down, I know she’s not the love of my life.

At fifteen, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Emma Lawson was the love of my life. That I would marry her. And the scary part was that it wasn’t some crazy teenage whim. I felt the rightness of it deep in my soul, the way someone knows they should take a different life path, or how people know with certainty that God exists.

I can’t deny how real that future with Emma felt, even though I’ve tried to ignore it for years. Even though I’ve talked myself into marrying Juliet.

But I don’t think I can do it anymore.

My eyes dart to Emma.

And everything breaks inside me.

She’s crying.

Not a couple of sentimental wedding tears. She’s desperately trying to make it look like it’s that, but it’s not. Her bottom lip disappears between her teeth. Her eyes blink rapidly, but it’s too late; tears fall freely down her cheeks. Camila takes her hand, and her face crumples for half a second before she gets control again.

And I think, somewhere deep inside, she knows, too, that I’m marrying the wrong woman. But she’d never say anything…so Juliet can have this moment.

All these years, she’s stepped aside.

She’s encouraged me and Juliet.

Even told me no last night. Told me Juliet will take good care of my heart.

But what if, at the end of the day, I want to take good care of Emma’s heart? Be the one person in the world who puts her wants and needs before anyone else’s?