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My breathing quickens. I can't afford a repeat of the disaster from my freshman year. I blacked out after one drink, thanks to my medication. It was a strong one, but still. I refuse to end up passed out in the bushes like that again, especially in front of Rhode.

I grab a bottle of water and chug it like that’ll counteract the effects of the alcohol. “I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

“No, you won’t,” Rhode counters, wrapping an arm around my waist. “I’m not going anywhere.”

All of a sudden, dizziness hits, and the world tilts off-balance. Rhode’s face blurs into a fuzzy blob. I feel myself swaying, the room spinning faster, but then his arms are around me. “Come on, I’ve got you. I’m taking you home.”

“You’re going to stay with me?” My words come out in a slur, feeling thick in my mouth. There’s no telling what’s going to fly past my lips tonight. From that feeling alone, I know I’m going to wake up covered in regrets.

Rhode’s voice sounds distant like he's calling from the end of a tunnel. “I’d stay forever for you.”

29

RHODE

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Nina slurs from the passenger seat as we drive back to her apartment. “I’m so glad you came. Really, I am. I miss coming. I miss you. Do you miss me?”

“I think we’ve established that I definitely miss you.”

“You know what we should do?” she rambles. “Have sex. I miss you. I miss the sex. The sex was so good. It was the best I’ve ever had.”

“I know. Me too.” I tighten my fingers around the steering wheel as blood rushes to my dick at the idea of her lying naked beneath me, but I want more. “The only thing you’re getting tonight is a goodnight kiss. On the forehead.”

The street light glints off her nose piercing as I stare at her the same way everyone else was during her speech. She drew everyone in with her passionate words.

I’ve been around a lot of confident and intelligent women, but sometimes, it can feel like they’re saying things because they’re trying to be someone they think I want and not the person they actually are, but it’s never felt that way with Nina.

“Rhode!” she shouts.

The light turns red, and on instinct, I punch the brake, reaching out to push her chest back into the seat so she doesn’t slam forward. We come to a stop at the light, both panting.

“Sorry,” I say. “That turned red fast.”

“You shouldn’t be looking at me while you drive.”

Nina grins. That smile hits me in my soul, waking me up and knocking me out all at once. It happens then, in this quiet moment that should be insignificant over the span of my life, but it’s not. It’s a big moment.

A really big moment.

I think I might love her.

No, I don’t think—I know.

I thought love would be this big moment, but it stacked up from all these little things.

The way she always buys Chicken treats. Every time she stood up for me. All the moments we made each other laugh, whether it was from a broken headboard or a joke about a naked yoga class. Our late-night deep conversations about having kids.

There are so many ways to have a family now, and yeah, age plays a factor, but I don’t want to have kids just because people around me are popping them out. I want to have them because I’m so madly in love with someone that I want to create a life with them. When I used to imagine that future, that person used to be faceless.

Now, all I see is Nina.

She snuck up on me, this girl who I thought was all wrong, but maybe that’s the fun part of falling in love, not knowing where you’re going to find it or when it’s right around the corner. Finding someone who makes the dull moments spectacular, who turns grocery shopping into an adventure, and then, you choose to spend all your boring moments together because they don’t feel that way around them.

We stare at each other until the light turns green. That red light was too damn short. I rip my eyes away, looking back to the road because it’s hard to look at her.

I don’t want to say goodbye when she leaves for Argentina. I want more of her smiles, her laughs, her thoughts—more of her. I grip the steering wheel hard enough to break it, wincing when pain lances through my shoulder.

“Rhode? You okay?” she asks.