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“Yeah” is all I can muster.

“I drove back in his car this morning. He was so insistent that he could do it alone, and if we’re being honest, Mom forced me to offer to ride with him. But it was nice. Norah, he’s good. At his core, he’s good.”

I bury my face in my hands, unable to look at my sister.

She scoots closer to me on the couch, nudging her elbow into me until I give her enough space to wrap her arm around mine.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” she says with affection, but the words bite all the same.

“I can’t talk about this right now,” I tell her.

“Mom was going to propose last night. Did you know that? Not everything is about you, as much as you make it out to be.”

I look up. “She was?”

“Um, yeah,” Hannah says, as if it was obvious. “I caught her putting the ring box away when we got back to the cabin after dinner. She was really weird about skipping the family picture at the tree and going straight back, so I knew something was up. Her plan was to do it when everyone was posing for the photos since the whole PJs thing means so much to Kristine. But someone had to go and ruin it.”

That makes me feel even more like a jerk than I did with Henry. I destroyed something monumental that my mother had planned, had centered the trip on. If it weren’t for me, they would already be engaged. They’d be in an even deeper love bubble than they have been, dreaming about the future that they both clearly want so much.

I’m still frustrated with my mom for the way she dropped that bomb, but I’m the real asshole here.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll apologize to Mom. I won’t fuck up like this again.”

Hannah nods, like it’s settled.

Tentatively, I ask, “You really don’t have any feelings about her selling the house?”

My sister shrugs. “We’re not the ones who live here.”

She’s right. I know that. My wise little sister, a million times smarter and more compassionate than I am.

“I feel like since I got home, everything I touch turns to shit. I should just never come back again so I stop ruining people’s lives.”

Hannah waits a while, her head cocked toward me. I know she’s giving me a moment to spill more, but I don’t have it in me.

Eventually, she says, “The whole car ride, Henry was practically buzzing. He didn’t want to let me in, but I could tell. He was desperate to get back to you. And when he came downstairs after you got home, he looked like you’d broken him.”

“It’s complicated, Hanns.”

“Yeah, everyone’s shit is complicated. But that doesn’t mean it has to be.”

Hannah gives me a hard look, like she’s debating if she should keep going or not, but she finally gives a light sigh and turns toward me. “He visits Dad, you know.”

A jolt of panic runs through me. “What are you talking about?”

“At the cemetery. Henry goes there, and he talks to Dad. He’s been doing it for years. Mom mentioned it to me once in passing, and then I saw him there at Thanksgiving. I think he was eating breakfast or something.”

I think back to Henry’s story about the scrambled eggs and feel sick to my stomach. He’s been going to see my dad all this time, even though we weren’t speaking. But it wasn’t about me. Henry has been part of my family for longer than I can remember, whether I wanted it or not. Whether I still want it or not, assuming I didn’t wreck everything for our moms too.

Henry’s been sitting with Dad, talking to him, all this time. I can’t even bring myself to do that.

Mom shuffles back into the living room, the box of candles in hand. “Well, it looks like the sun is down already. Should we light the menorah?”

I push aside my whirring thoughts, and Mom, Hannah, and I gather by the window. I light the shamash in Hannah’s hand, and she lights the remaining seven candles while we all recite the blessing. Mom kisses each of us on the cheek, whispering, “Happy Hanukkah.”

I sigh, knowing how much I fucked everything up.

“I’m sorry I ruined the trip. This week has been a lot, but that’s not an excuse. It was selfish and childish. I know I’m better than that. And you deserve the world, Mom. You deserve to give the perfect proposal, wherever it is that you want to do that, and not have it blown up by my dumb ass. Kristine is the best. I really am so happy for you both.”