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Hannah comes in while I’m still clutching the note from Henry. I don’t even clock that I’m crying until my sister sits down on the floor of my closet with me, wiping my face with her sleeve.
“Sorry, sorry,” I sniffle. “This is just all bringing up a lot.”
“I know,” Hannah says. “But I’m your tether, remember? So what’s going on?”
“Do you ever feel…” I trail off, unsure even what I’m saying, “like it’s just too much? To trust anyone to catch you. To let anyone in.”
“What would happen if you did?” she asks gently.
“They’d tear apart all the things that mean the most to me.”
I look down at the note in my hand.
I may have fucked things up with Henry beyond repair. I may not trust myself to let him in. But it’s gone beyond that, affecting all of my relationships. Maybe there’s a reason I have a hard time opening up to friends too. Frankie stayed a constant, but I mostly orbit around people I know on a surface level. People I can go out with on the weekends, or grab brunch with, but not many of those I’d divulge my secrets, my heartbreak, my story to. Luisa is one of my best friends, and it took Henry resurfacing for me to even tell her about him in the first place. Why am I like this?
My phone buzzes with a reply from Frankie. I shove away the tears with the edge of my hand so I can read the message.
Frankie
Any chance you can make it down to the city today? I know it’s your last night, and you better not leave without seeing me
Frankie has always been there. She’s another person who will catch me no matter what.
Norah
What time?
* * *
After providing evidence that I do, in fact, have a valid driver’s license, Hannah reluctantly lends me her car so I can drive down to meet Frankie. I’ve been avoiding my best friend too over the last handful of weeks. I mentioned I was home this week, but skirted around every opportunity to see her, including her offer to come to Laketon. It’s forty-five minutes from the city, and the familiar curve of Lake Shore Drive reminds me of school trips into Chicago for museums and bus rides back filled with gossip.
I meet Frankie at her apartment in Lincoln Park. It’s too cold to be outside, so she quickly buzzes me in. I haven’t been to this apartment before. The last time I visited Frankie in the city, she was living with her sorry excuse of an ex-boyfriend, but this apartment doesn’t feel like hers either. It looks like a Pinterest board, all bright, natural light and pink accents. I know she moved in with a coworker after the breakup, but it seems like even in the last two years, she’s barely made her mark on this space.
Frankie leads me to a ridiculous-looking biscuit couch that definitely belongs to her roommate, hands me a mug of fresh coffee, and gestures for me to sit. There’s a coating of hair from Frankie’s orange tabby cat on the cushion between us.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Frankie says, her dark brows furrowed in contrast with her platinum blonde bob, my best friend’s signature style.
I take a sip of coffee, trying to hide my sheepishness.
“You know Hannah and I text, right? You’re pulling some real bullshit, Nor.”
I’m a little taken aback by my best friend’s tone. She’s always blunt and to the point, but it’s not usually directed at me.
“I’m here now?”
Frankie sighs. “On your last day in town, yes, you are technically here.” She shakes her head like she’s not sure if she wants to get into it. “I can feel you slipping away again, and I have to be honest, this is much harder to do across different time zones.”
My lips pull up to one side. “It’s just a bad breakup. I’ll climb out of it eventually.”
“We’ve been best friends since we were nine. I know you better than that.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I say honestly. I’m feeling a little lost here. Monsieur, Frankie’s cat, slowly meanders out of her bedroom to join us. He eyes me on the couch, skeptical. There’s no way he remembers me. I lean down to place my hand nearby so he can sniff it. Maybe some kitten cuddles will make me feel better.
He takes one whiff of me, then turns, completely uninterested.
“It’s only by sheer force of will that I was able to keep our friendship going senior year,” Frankie says finally, and I feel like the wind just got knocked out of me.
“What are you talking about? We’ve always been friends.”
