Page 106
The boys were a bit shy to start with, leaning against Millie and observing this new, strange person in their midst. Until they saw the plate of homemade shortbread biscuits she had brought with her, cut in the shape of Christmas trees, and by the time they’d tasted those, they were best friends. Millie raised an appreciative eyebrow at Fox when she saw Erin help Reggie to clear up some crumbs he’d dropped, and laugh loudly when George performed forward rolls on the rug.
‘She’s a natural,’ Millie whispered to Fox as she passed him a bottle of beer.
‘Come and eat!’ she said to everyone else and they all took their seats.
Millie raised her glass before they ate and made her usual toast to absent friends and loved ones. Fox held Millie’s gaze as he clinked her glass. It was their own way of including Meg in the Christmas meal and it meant a lot, but this year, his mind suddenly turned to Robyn. God, don’t let her be alone for Christmas Day. He hadn’t even thought about it earlier, he’d been so angry, but with Rosie and Wren in the hospital, her plans might have been scuppered.
‘I love that toast!’ Erin said, breaking his train of thought. ‘We have a similar one in our family.’ She lifted her glass again and cleared her throat. ‘To those who are yet to be met, and those who have left for ever.’
‘Beautiful,’ Millie agreed, clinking her glass to Erin’s. ‘It covers future generations as well as past ones. I like that a lot.’
Future generations. Fox felt as though he’d been winded, looking at the shining faces of his two boys across the table, thinking of his new daughter.
‘Dig in, everyone,’ Millie said, snapping him out of it. ‘Don’t let it get cold.’
The potatoes were on point, and the stuffing was delicious, and Erin piled her plate high.
The boys ate at warp speed, wanting to get the formalities done so they could open the presents.
‘Santa wouldn’t want you to get indigestion!’ Erin laughed, tickling their tummies. Millie laughed along and flashed Fox another look of admiration. It was very clear that Erin was family friendly.
It was dark outside by the time they were settled in the front room, the dishwasher stacked and running, courtesy of Erin and Millie. Fox had cleared the table and wiped it down, his mind turning to Robyn again, wondering what she was doing. He was beginning to regret just walking away, because the questions were multiplying in his head. How was she? How could she not have told him sooner? When would he next see his daughter? He couldn’t help but feel that he was in the wrong place; he should be where Robyn was, holding Willow.
‘Present time!’ the boys shouted. They tore their wrapping paper and threw it in the air. They shrieked and ran around the room with joy at wooden aeroplanes, puzzles and more pebbles from Auntie Millie. They were ecstatic about a paint set which not only allowed them to paint pebbles but also glass, so that they could decorate the bottles which Fox had found them. Reggie loved his kite and George adored his magnifying glass. It was gorgeous, hectic, family bedlam and Fox lost himself in it . . . until he remembered he had another child in Honeybridge that he’d only bought a token present for, a picture book from the Lit Lounge.
As the chaos died down, Millie laughingly got the boys to throw their rubbish into a bin bag which she held open. If their paper went in, they got a Malteser. Fox knew the box would soon be finished; his boys were good shots. He wondered whether his daughter would grow up the same. And how would he even know, if Robyn was intending on taking her off to travel around the world? He took a long slug of beer. There was so much to work through, to sort out. He just needed time to think.
‘My turn now . . .’ Erin said, pulling out her Santa sack of presents. Fox’s guts hit the floor. Fuck, he hadn’t bought her a present. If you’re going to invite someone for Christmas, you should at least buy them a present.
She shyly handed an exquisitely wrapped gift to Millie first, ‘With my thanks for having me, and I hope that we see each other much more in the future.’ It was a set of leather travel tags, which Millie loved. ‘Fox told me you travel a lot for work,’ she explained.
‘And these are for you, boys,’ Erin said, holding a box in each hand. The two boys trilled a well-trained thank you before diving in, shrieking with authentic delight when they unwrapped matching slime monsters.
‘All the older kids at school have these!’ Reggie shouted.
‘I asked my nieces and they said you’d love them!’ Erin said.
She turned to Fox and he could see the flush already creeping up from the collar of her Christmas jumper.
‘And here’s a little something for you.’
He cringed inside, knowing he had nothing to give her in return.
‘You didn’t need to,’ he stammered, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.
‘Of course I did,’ she said, looking at him under her lashes.
Fox sighed inwardly and opened the parcel. A pair of socks fell onto his lap. On the sole of the left foot, it said, ‘Go away’. And on the sole of the right one it read, ‘I’m gaming’. His chest ached that she had got him such a thoughtful gift and he hadn’t even remembered he’d invited her to the day.
‘Thank you, Erin,’ he stammered, squeezing her arm in gratitude. ‘I’ll definitely be wearing them over the next few days.’
‘But how did you have time to do all this?’ Millie asked incredulously, very aware that Fox had only invited Erin the night before.
‘I was hoping I might meet you all at some point over the holidays . . .’ Erin said, shooting a shy look at Fox. ‘So, I’d made a few preparations.’
The boys started wrestling on the floor, and Fox used the distraction to focus on them. Suddenly the television buzzed into life and everyone jumped.
‘One of you rolled on the remote control!’ Millie laughed, kneeling beside the boys and rummaging beneath their wriggling bodies. As music started on the screen, the boys stopped to see what they were missing. It was the very end of a Christmas movie, right at the point where a man and a woman stared longingly into each other’s eyes, just about to kiss.