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“Since October, like I told you at Grace’s,” he said as evenly as possible.
“Yeah, that’s what you said.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Is it?” she tilted her head, her long, light brown hair spilling over her shoulder. “Because I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think you’re telling me the whole story.”
Irritation surged through his veins. “I am,” he insisted. “We didn’t get together until recently.”
She ran her tongue over her teeth. “What about homecoming?”
“We talked about that before I even took her. We just went as friends.”
“Yes, I know,” Izzy said sarcastically. “What I mean is, how long have you wanted to be with her?”
His heart jolted uncomfortably. “Just since this October.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you then.”
“The truth, Theo. I want the truth. Because I keep thinking about things from the last year, things I kept telling myself I was imagining, or misreading, and now I think I just didn’t want to see what everyone else saw. How long have you had feelings for her? And please, don’t lie about this. I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re wondering. I just—I need to know. No gaslighting, no trying to make yourself look good. How long have you wanted to be with Avery, really?”
Theo thought desperately, trying to find a way to thread the needle. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “A while. Longer—longer than I should have.”
Izzy sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “The whole time we were together, then?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” He felt like shit, but maybe he deserved that. Over on the rink, Avery was skating with Grace, but both were tossing looks their way. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“No, I’m sure you didn’t,” Izzy replied in a flat, affectless voice that hurt more than anger would have. He’d hurt her, and there was really no good reason for it.
“I still—it’s complicated, but I wasn’t lying to you about how I felt about you,” he attempted.
“Never said you were.”
A long moment of silence descended between them, the weight of all his mistakes hovering in the air. “I’m sorry,” he said finally. “Really, Iz, I am.”
Another stretch of quiet followed. “I know,” she said. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, though.”
“Yeah.” He waited to see if she had anything else to throw at him, deservedly so, but she didn’t say anything else. “Avery didn’t know,” he said, against his better judgment.
Izzy snorted. “Really, Theo? Now? You want to defend her now?”
“I just meant—”
“I know what you fucking meant,” she spat. “You want to make sure princess’s hands are clean, because you’ve always put her first. Always.”
“That’s not—”
“Oh hey, Izzy, I want to take my best friend who everyone keeps telling you I’m in love with to homecoming, if you say no you’ll look like a huge bitch, but you don’t mind, do you?” she said in a mocking imitation of his voice. “Yeah, you really gave me a choice there.”
Theo rubbed his hand along his jaw, wishing he had something to say that would make him look a little less shitty, but he didn’t, because she was right. “I’m sorry,” he said again.
Izzy stood up. “Whatever. I’m happy for you, I guess. But do me a favor.”
“Anything,” Theo said, recognizing a lifeline when he saw one.
“Stop lying. Own up to the truth about how you feel, to yourself and to everyone else.”