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“And you can’t see yourself ever changing your mind? Seattle is a pretty nice place.”
Arden shook her head. “I love my home, Sam. I’ve built a life there that I’m proud of.”
This seemed to stump him. He rolled away from her and gazed up at the ceiling, quiet.
“I’m sorry,” Arden whispered after a long moment.
“Nah, don’t say that. You’re a strong, smart, confident woman who knows what she wants. I was just thinking about how you said you’re proud of the life you’ve built. That must be a good feeling.”
“Oh, Sam…” Arden reached for him, wrapping an arm around him and resting her cheek on his shoulder. “You have a career that you’re proud of, don’t you? And a family you love? A good group of friends?”
“I do. Thank you for the reminder. The career, I am proud of, technically. But it looks better on paper. I thought it would feel different. I thought…” He sighed. “I thought by the time I turned thirty, I’d be married with kids.”
Arden tried to stifle the smile that sprang to her lips at this statement. “I think a lot of us thought that when we were young, right? But plenty of people don’t get married and have kids until later these days.”
“That’s true. You’re always right, aren’t you?” Sam gazed at her. She tried to memorize the sight of his eyes, blue with thick black lashes, crinkled with an ever-present smile.
“Yes, I am,” she said seriously. Then she added, “I want those things, too.”
“And I’m sure you’ll get them.” Sam planted a kiss on her forehead and lingered there. She had a distinct feeling that he was blinking back tears. “You’re an amazing person, Arden.”
“Oh, Sam,” she said again. “You are, too. You really are.”
He laughed and wiped a knuckle across his eyes. “If only I didn’t have an enormous, crazy family who’d kill me if I ever left the Pacific Northwest. I’m kidding, I love them. But they do make it sort of impossible.”
“Family is important. It makes sense that you want to stay near them.”
“Yeah. And I do. Want to.” His voice faded as though he were lost in thought. “I mean, I’ve never considered not staying here. I just know how my mom would react. And my dad? He’d be so disappointed.”
Arden nodded, though she couldn’t fully relate, having no real relationship with her dad and her mom having moved to a different country without her. But families were different. If she had four siblings and parents who were still married and threw amazing holiday parties every year, well, she’d want to stay close to them, too.
“It’s always been a sort of high-pressure environment.”
“What?” Arden had been lost in her own train of thought, and apparently Sam’s thoughts had gone in a different direction.
“My family. We’ve always been very competitive. And my parents encouraged that.”
“They encouraged you to compete against each other?”
“Yep. It was normal to us, just the way things were. But looking back, I don’t know if it actually was normal.”
“I wouldn’t know. But as a teacher, I try to avoid directly comparing my students to each other. Everyone is on their own path. They do things at their own pace, in their own way.”
This seemed to strike a chord with Sam, almost like it touched on a long-buried hurt from his childhood. He blinked, staring at her with a strange look on his face. Arden gently ran a hand through his dark hair and brushed the back of her hand against his cheek. He kissed her hand. Whatever he was thinking, whatever response he had to Arden’s words, he kept inside. Maybe he hadn’t yet formed a coherent response, just an emotional one.
“I should get dressed,” Arden whispered. Sam nodded.
“Wouldn’t want to miss the noon train for your four o’clock flight.” He kept his face straight and serious.
“No. I wouldn’t.”
They laughed and shared one more kiss before Arden, using all of her self-control, got up to get dressed for the airport.
Chapter 35
Phoebe
Jonathan Lee was spooning her. They had fallen asleep together, both of them completely spent. And now birds were warbling and the sky outside the bedroom window was lightening from pink to a clear, bright blue. Phoebe didn’t want to move, afraid to wake him.
