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Even though Luca is trying her best not to listen in, her ears can’t help but prick up. Toni sounds less composed than usual. Her tone is wary, almost defensive.

“What does that even—Esther. Can we not do this right now?”

Next to Luca, Miray grimaces. Awkward, their brief eye contact says.

“I know that. But I—can you let me finish? I told you I was going to call you later. Right now is really not a good time.”

They’re standing at a red light now. In her periphery, Luca can see Toni run a hand through her hair. There’s a tension in her jaw that Luca’s only seen in the moments before a show.

“I don’t get—did you call me just to fight? I was going to ask how you were before you—” She draws a deep breath in through her nose. “Esther. I will call you back later.”

With that, she hangs up.

The light turns green. By the time Toni catches up with them, her face is wiped of whatever emotion had seeped into her voice.

“Everything all right?” Miray asks tentatively.

“Sure,” Toni says, dropping her phone to the bottom of her tote bag. “Let’s get back to the others.”

Since they don’t have a show the next day, they go out for the first time. They start the night at a vegan fast-food place, dip into a club, quickly realize that it’s far too hot to dance, stumble into the red-light district, and end up inside a coffee shop. Toni hunts down a table in the back, right next to a jukebox and in view of the two pool tables. Florence and Miray claim the two chairs while Izzy, Toni and Luca squeeze onto the bench running along the wall.

They order drinks first—nonalcoholic—before Toni says, “So. Are we doing this properly?”

Luca doesn’t have to ask to know what she means. Her eyes dart to the table next to theirs, where a group of German tourists are passing around a joint. The air is thick with the cloying, earthy smell of weed.

“There’s still two sleeps before our next performance,” Florence says.

Izzy grins, hands drumming on the edge of the table. “When in Amsterdam.” She elbows Toni. “Come on. You know the most about this stuff.”

Toni gets up and follows her to the front, where a guy in a patterned button-down talks her through his selection.

Luca turns back to Florence and Miray, a nervous flutter in her stomach. “Have you done this before?”

“Once,” Florence says, answering for both of them. “At a birthday party.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Miray tells Luca. “No pressure at all.”

“I’ve done it before,” Luca admits. “I didn’t feel much.”

Izzy and Toni come back a moment later. Izzy makes a show of revealing the two prerolled joints they bought. Their names are ridiculous and don’t mean a thing to Luca.

“Florence,” Izzy says. “Would the lady be so kind as to hand over the lighter she stole from me a fortnight ago?”

With an eye roll that looks more fond than annoyed, Florence rifles through her bag until she finds it. “Here.”

“Much appreciated,” Izzy says, handing it over to Toni.

After lighting the joint, Toni passes it back to Izzy. Luca drums her fingers on her thighs while she watches Izzy take a hit—slowly, slowly—and exhale. Smoke drapes over their table. Already, Luca feels a little lightheaded.

Miray is next. She coughs, giving a pink-cheeked thumbs-up when Izzy laughs and pats her head from across the table. “Good job, Tiny.”

Florence plucks the joint from Miray’s hand. Luca can’t tear her eyes away from her as she lifts it to her mouth and tilts her head back, exposing the long line of her neck. Her clavicle glistens with sweat, a few stray curls sticking to her skin where they’ve spilled out of her claw clip.

When she exhales, her eyes are dark and heavy-lidded. Her fingertips brush Luca’s as she hands her the joint. There are smudges of her lipstick on it—it’s the only thing Luca can focus on as she puts it to her own mouth and takes a drag.

All the while, she’s aware of Florence watching her. “Slow,” she murmurs. “That’s it.”

Luca’s breath shudders out of her. Tearing her eyes away from Florence’s suddenly feels like fighting against some great current. Hands shaking, she passes the joint to Toni, completing the first round.