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No.

It would be the other way around.

He would lose me.

CHAPTER 25

10 SIGNS THAT YOUR

PERFECT RELATIONSHIP IS

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

ADRIAN

I woke up on Christmas morning, my arms wrapped around her warm body. She was in nothing but a baggy T-shirt. Her hair was pulled over one shoulder and I kissed the bare skin on her neck and she tipped her head to one side.

She smelled like vanilla. She smelled like home.

I couldn’t even understand how I had lived without her once. How I’d gone through my days not knowing her. I was turned to her now the way a house plant leaned toward a sunny window. I felt like the luckiest man in the world.

Christmas was one of the best I’d ever had. We ate breakfast and opened presents. I got Richard and Mom an espresso maker. A smaller, less vulgar (as Vanessa called it) version of the one in my own kitchen. We’d gotten the approval from the rescue and we talked to Richard and Mom about Harry. Grandma was already holding him when we told her, and she was very excited.

Vanessa’s mother’s ring was my main gift to her. When all was said and done, I could have bought five rings for the price of what it cost me to find this one, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. The look on her face when she saw it was priceless.

I also got her an Office shirt with Jim’s face and BEARS, BEETS, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA on the front. She loved it.

Since Badger Den hadn’t panned out, she got me a bottle of 2010 Château Lafite Rothschild Pauillac. She said it was “a Bordeaux with a strong sense of its own self-importance”—a lot like her dad. Her words, not mine. She also bought me an ant farm, which was ironic since my last gift to her, still en route to her apartment, was a butterfly habitat.

After presents and lunch, Dad offered to take Vanessa ice fishing with him. I opted to stay back and spend some time with Mom and Grandma. Grandma went to take a nap about thirty minutes in, and Mom and I moved to the four-season porch on the back of the house overlooking the pond. It had a little fireplace in it, and we were on the couch. We could see Richard and Vanessa like two little dark specks out on the white frozen tundra.

“She’s exceptional,” Mom said, putting her teacup down on the coffee table. “And she’s perfect for you. I never liked Rachel.”

I laughed. “You only met her once.”

“She couldn’t look me in the eye!”

Well, I guess that made sense.

“Thank you for coming,” Mom said. “It meant the world to me.” She nodded to the pond. “And to him.”

I gazed out the window at Vanessa and Dad.

Vanessa was right. I needed to forgive.

I didn’t realize the weight I’d been carrying around on my back all these years until it was gone.

It seemed so pointless now, all the time I’d hated him. I felt like if I’d ever given him another chance, I would have realized that I never really did.

I’d gotten something back today that I’d lost a long time ago. Maybe it was him—or maybe it was just the place I used to keep my feelings about him. Either way, there was room inside of me for other things now. Better things.

And I was looking forward to them.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Mom. You’ve got a nice life here. I can see why you wanted to make the move.”

She smiled. “I am happy. I really am.” Then she seemed to remember something. “Vanessa says she wants to talk to me about joining a club she and Kristen are in?”

I started choking on my coffee. “Don’t join.” I cough-laughed. “Trust me. You’ll learn more about me and Josh than you’ll ever care to know.”