Page 136

I felt like my heart was being crushed in my chest. And I didn’t even have anything to say because this wasn’t on me. I’d leave my life to be here if she wanted that. I’d learn to get used to all…this. I’d deal with it, because if the alternative was being without her, I could never choose it. But this wasn’t my choice. It wasn’t up to me to decide for her to be disowned or whatever the hell her parents would do.

And what a fucked-up thing to even put on someone. What kind of people were these?

But then I already knew.

For the first time I truly saw what she was trying to make me understand every time she told me this wouldn’t work out.

It wasn’t just a money gap or an age gap or even a social gap between us. It was everything. Her entire family conspiring against us. Her friends. Logistics. Fate. A thousand qualifiers that I’d never have, things that would have had to have happened at birth, generations ago, to help me now. A well-connected family, a better education, a more important place than Wakan.

All we had was our love for each other. That’s all we had.

None of the other parts worked or fit or made sense.

But I didn’t need it to make sense, because for me the love was everything, it was all I needed.

But it wasn’t enough for her.

People don’t stay in Wakan. They come and they have a magical time, and then they go back to their real lives. I’d fallen in love with a tourist. Because that’s what she was.

And the vacation was over.

My eyes were tearing up. “Alexis, please. Come home with me. Or let me stay. Don’t make me leave you…”

Her chin quivered, and she looked away from me.

“Please don’t do this,” I whispered.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “One day you’re going to realize the mistake you’re making. Please, Alexis. Realize it now.”

She wouldn’t. She didn’t. She made me leave five minutes later.

Chapter 34

Alexis

Every day since I broke up with Daniel a month ago, I went through the motions like a robot.

I woke up, took a shower, went to work. On my infrequent days off, I slept. All day. And my dreams were worse than reality.

I dreamed of Daniel mostly. Of Wakan and the Grant House, running through the rooms, looking for him. And when I woke up, I’d feel around for a second to find him, only to remember he wasn’t there and never would be again.

I was always tired now. And my brain was misfiring.

I couldn’t remember the stained glass on the landing. It was the oddest thing. It was just gone from my memory, like Wakan had decided to keep it when I left. Was it a garden? Or deer in a meadow? Or a mosaic? It bothered me so much, I went to TripAdvisor to see if anyone had posted pictures, and there wasn’t a single one. One of the most beautiful things in the house, and nobody had taken a photo? The only one I found of it was a black-and-white of the staircase on a website about historic Minnesota homes. It was taken the year the house was built. But the window was completely black. Like the camera had malfunctioned.

My mind reached uselessly for the memory and then finally gave up. It was something that only belonged to Wakan. And you couldn’t have it once you left.

Not even in your dreams.

I took my dressing-down by Dad for the Daniel thing with so little emotion, he lost interest and gave up on lecturing me. I was like a catatonic patient. A zombie.

I didn’t respond to Gabby and Jessica’s texts. I didn’t take Bri up on her offers to go to dinner or come over. I just buried myself in work, kept moving so none of what happened would catch up with me and pin me down.

Mom stopped by a few days after the scene at the hospital. She was hurt I hadn’t told her about Daniel. Then she begged me to apologize to Dad for lying about trying to work it out with Neil.

What he needed an apology for, I couldn’t understand. He was the only one getting everything he wanted.

I wondered, looking at her, if Dad had lured her in once like Neil did to me. If he made her feel like the most special woman in the world, pretended to be someone different, dangled the Montgomery legacy that she valued so much—and by the time he showed her who he really was, it was too late. And even without asking her, I knew that’s the way it was.