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“That’s what you want?”
“I just said.”
“Sometimes people say things they don’t actually mean.”
I threw up my hands. “What do you want from me, Jacob?”
He paused. “Everything. I want everything. I want us to be real.”
I laughed almost manically. “What are you even talking about? You are in love with someone else!”
He stared at me. “What?”
I shook my head at him. “Look, I know that this thing with us would be convenient for you. And I appreciate that you find me attractive, I really do. But I’m not going to be your consolation prize because it didn’t work out with Amy.”
“You think I’m—”
“Jacob, don’t bother denying it. I heard you fighting with her the day of the luau. You came out with lipstick and perfume on your shirt and then you asked me out so you didn’t have to dwell on it. Then today you had a panic attack because she’s pregnant—”
“I had a panic attack because you’re texting Levi.”
I blinked at him.
“That day at the luau? I was fighting with Amy because she was worried you were using me for my kidney. That you didn’t actually want me. And so I asked you out because I didn’t want to believe her. I wanted it to be real between us, I wanted to make it real. And she was right. It wasn’t.”
He shook his head. “I don’t care about Amy, Briana. I don’t love her. I don’t think I ever did. I’m glad she’s pregnant, I like being an uncle. And you know what? If you’re only with me for the kidney, I don’t care about that either. Because I am so fucking in love with you, I’ll settle for anything. Even that.” His voice broke on the last word.
I just stared at him. For the first time ever, I was totally mute.
“Use me,” he said, his eyes resigned. “Use me for whatever you want. Just stay.”
The words froze me in place. I had to learn how to breathe again before I could speak. “You don’t love her?” I whispered.
He shook his head slowly. “No.”
We stood there in a thick moment of silence. My heart pounded into the quiet.
“Jacob, I am so in love with you I can’t even stand it.”
I watched this information transform his entire face. “What?” he breathed.
“I’m in love with you too. I thought you wanted her. I thought—”
“Say it again.” He swallowed.
“I’m…I’m in love with you.”
I watched the words hit him like a physical thing, pushing the air from his lungs and filling his eyes with hope.
He closed the space between us in three long strides and gathered me to him.
“Say it again,” he whispered.
“I’m in love with you,” I gasped.
“Again.”
“I’m in love with you.”
