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“Move slowly, talk softly, and offer food,” I said, talking to the cat in a low voice.
She grabbed three fries, dipped them in ketchup, and bit the tops off. “I am impressed.”
I looked up at her and smiled, liking that I did something to impress her.
“So what’s your dream date?” she asked, taking another bite of a fry. “What kind of stuff are we doing in our pretend time together?”
I shrugged. “This.”
She looked at me. “Really? You like this? Just hanging out?”
“I love this.”
She nodded. “Me too. It’s so underrated. And hiking and camping.”
“Yes.”
“Nick never wanted to go with me,” she said. “I always had to go alone.”
“I’ll go with you,” I said, a little too quickly and immediately regretting it. She wasn’t asking me to join her.
“Oh my God, I would love that.”
The corners of my lips turned up. “There’s a lot of good trails up by the cabin.”
“All right, it’s a date. Oh! That reminds me. I should probably delete all my dating apps. I don’t want someone seeing me on Bumble or something and think I’m cheating on you.” She pulled out her phone. “You should delete yours too. In case you match with one of the nurses or something.”
“I don’t have any.”
She looked at me over her phone. “Really? None?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Well, where’d you meet Amy?”
“At work. And my girlfriend before that too.”
“Wow. Spared the horrors of online dating,” she said. “Lucky you.”
“I don’t even know what they’re like. I’ve never been on one,” I said.
“Wanna see mine?”
“Sure,” I said, getting back up to sit next to her on the sofa. The cat followed me and jumped up on my lap.
Briana did a few swipes and then handed me her phone, open to her profile.
Her main picture was the one of her at Minnehaha Falls in the gray baseball hat and glasses.
Her info was sparse. Drinks socially, never smokes, no kids and don’t want any. Her bio read:
Looking for something casual. Someone to do fun things with. Must love tacos. And be advised I will be Googling you and I’m very good at it, so don’t bother if you’re not who you say you are. I don’t want anything serious and you’re not going to convert me, so don’t fall in love.
“You don’t want anything serious?” I asked, looking over at her.
“Nope.”
“Now? Or ever?”
