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Half an hour later Jacob and I drove home in silence. He’d come out of the house quiet and anxious. Amy came out a few minutes later, looking like she’d been crying.

He was so obviously bothered I didn’t tell him I’d heard his fight with Amy or ask him what was wrong. Honestly, I was too upset to ask.

I wondered what I’d done to be cursed to relive the dynamics of my shitty marriage over and over and over again.

It wasn’t Jacob’s fault. He’d been clear with me right out of the gate that he still loved his ex. I’d known this going in. I couldn’t even be mad. But it sucked. All I wanted to do was get home so I could dwell on it and feel sorry for myself in private.

He had lipstick on the collar of his shirt.

It was next to a red flower on the print, so it wasn’t super obvious, but I saw it. Amy was wearing red lipstick.

I swear I could smell her perfume on him. It was probably just my imagination, but I kept getting the faintest whiff of peony when he moved. I wanted to throw up.

Had he kissed her? Had she kissed him? What had happened in that room? I stopped breathing through my nose and just stared out the window. What had happened was none of my business.

He pulled up to my house and I barely waited for the truck to come to a stop. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said flatly, getting out.

He didn’t say bye.

When I got inside, Benny was in the living room with Justin.

“Hey,” I said, going straight to my room.

I’d have to do his dialysis. But I wanted out of this stupid dress and the stupid flower I had in my hair. It felt tainted, like the whole night had been.

I’d felt pretty today. And now I felt invisible. Because the only one I’d wanted to see me didn’t. He only saw her.

I yanked the flower out of my hair and tossed the dress onto a chair, then washed my face and flung my bra into the hamper. I put on the highest-waisted grandma underwear I could find and my fleece pajamas with a ratty Vote for Pedro shirt.

When I came out to hook up Benny, he nodded at me. “Hey, your boyfriend is pacing on the front porch.”

“What?” I said, turning on the machine.

“He’s been out there like twenty minutes. My Ring is blowing up.”

I blinked at him. “He’s just walking back and forth across the porch?”

“Sometimes he jogs down the steps and then comes back.”

Justin snorted.

I pulled out my phone and opened the app. There he was. Pacing. Like a weirdo.

Technically he was only about fifteen feet away. I could open the front door to talk to him. But instead I turned on the app’s speaker. “Jacob? Why are you out there?”

He stopped and looked at the Ring.

“I have a Ring Doorbell,” I said. “I can see you. Doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Can you come outside?” he asked.

I let out a long breath. Fine. I tossed my phone on the couch.

“Don’t spy on me,” I muttered to my brother and his minion. Then I let myself out onto the porch and closed the door behind me. “What’s up?” I said, crossing my arms.

He looked twitchy. His anxiety was high. Probably the Amy fight/makeout thing and he wanted to talk about it, which really was the least I could do considering we were friends and he was giving my brother an entire organ. But I had to emotionally brace for it anyway.

He didn’t start.