Page 19

Iwalked Doobie in the courtyard every time I came over to Frank’s, looking for the woman in the jade bracelet. Hell, I came over even when I didn’t need to. When a month had passed without a sighting, I finally gave up. I had to accept that I’d lost my shot. But I wouldn’t lose it the next time with the next person. I was officially out of my caveman era, and I was accepting responsibility for my own unhappiness.

I decorated my apartment. My place actually looked nice now. I refurbished some furniture I found; I started a potted garden out on my patio and put the succulent from H out there. Painted. I even got some artwork. I maintained the haircut. Kept the beard—I liked it—but I trimmed it daily.

The job got a little easier too. I was almost through the backlog of repairs. People were starting to know me in the building; I got friendly head nods now. I got on a first-name basis with some of the elderly residents. They needed someone to check up on them, and I was glad to do it. They liked the visits from Doobie. I felt like I had a community. A purpose.

I kept that last note from H on my fridge. A reminder to control the things that are in my control.

I still thought about the woman in the jade bracelet from time to time. How she appeared that day in the courtyard like magic, then vanished without a trace.

It was weird to say, but I felt like I might think about her for the rest of my life. Like she would be my one “What If.”

I guess in the grand scheme of things, a single “What If” isn’t too bad.

But still.

Holly

CHAPTER 13

“I’m going to Home Depot tonight to wander the aisles looking lost and confused,” I said to Jillian over the phone. “I need paint. I’m doing the kitchen. Do you want to come and help me pick colors?”

“Hell yes I do.”

I was standing at my sink, doing dishes wearing the Death Goddess shirt she got me for my birthday last week. The Doobie Brothers were playing, and my nurse bobblehead was bouncing on the windowsill next to my herbs. She still had the little Thank You sign.

I’d moved her from the car to the apartment. I wasn’t working right now, so I wasn’t driving much, and I wanted to look at her. She made me happy.

“I’ll go with you,” Jillian said. “But just so you know, I’m only looking at the hot men with tools; I’m not shopping for one.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Silence.

I gasped. “Who?”

“He’s just this guy who adopted one of my guinea pigs. It’s very new.”

“Oh my God. Does he use four-in-one shampoo?”

“If he did, I’d let it slide.”

I shut off the water. “Woooooow.” I leaned my back against the counter. “The bar is coming down.”

“I think you underestimate the sex appeal of a man snuggling a guinea pig.”

I laughed.

“So you’re really ready to get back out there, then?” she asked. “Red-tool time?”

“I think so,” I said, drying my hands on a towel. “It’s what Grandma would have wanted for me. And love isn’t going to come find me in my living room.”

Someone knocked on the door.

“I gotta go. The maintenance guy is here. Six?”

“Six works.”

I hit the “End Call” button and took out my earbuds and went to open the door.