Page 97

I looked at her. “What?”

“It makes her look bad that she ignores you so much. Neil probably mentions it. That’s why the only time she invites you anywhere is when Neil’s gonna be there.”

I stiffened. “No. There was the time she invited me to dinner when he was at work.”

“So he would come home and see you there. Or because she was bored and lonely. FYI, Amber only ever calls you when it serves Amber,” she said.

“That is not true.”

She cocked her head. “No? Think about all the times in the last ten years she’s reached out to you when it was just for you. She didn’t go to your high school graduation. She didn’t go to your nursing school graduation. She forgets your birthday almost every year.”

“She’s forgetful—”

“That woman spends her life asking people what day and time they were born and she can’t remember your birthday? Come on. A thousand bucks says she remembers Neil’s birthday.”

“Well, this year will be different,” I said matter-of-factly. “She’s here. I’m sure she’ll do something nice.”

She looked back at her screen. “I hope so.”

“And she couldn’t afford the time off work for my graduations. She asked for pictures—”

“To show people. Because it doesn’t fit the narrative that she’s a loving and doting mother if she doesn’t even have pictures of you to show people while she’s taking credit for your accomplishments.” She looked me in the eye. “We’ve been staying in the cottage for the last three weeks, literally across the way, and how many times has she come to see you there? Had Neil drop her off during one of their many sunset cruises? That would be zero. Everything Amber does is for Amber.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I said, my tone more clipped than I liked.

“Because you have this thing where you always believe the best in people—especially with her. It shouldn’t surprise you that she continues to be disappointing, yet again, but it always does and I’m sick of seeing you get hurt. You need to lower your expectations waaaaaay down. The bar is on the floor and she’ll bring a shovel, every time. The sooner you realize that, the happier you’ll be.”

I looked away from her and stared through the monitor in front of me, my nostrils flaring. I wanted to snap at her. I wanted to tell her to be quiet and to stop making things up.

Only she wasn’t making it up.

Maddy was right. I was an afterthought to my mother.

I don’t even know why it surprised me. I’d been taught this lesson a thousand times. But it wasn’t the slight that hurt. It was the loss of hope.

When I was little, there had been a time I was her whole universe. But the older I got, the less interested she seemed to be in me. She left me for longer and longer, and then eventually she didn’t come back for me at all. But I never stopped waiting. I never stopped wanting to be what Neil clearly was for her. And if I wasn’t now, then I never would be.

I always thought it was a proximity thing. She traveled a lot, she changed jobs all the time, she was busy, she was dealing with whatever Amber dealt with. But now I couldn’t rationalize why nothing was different, even though she was right here.

Maddy would gladly give me her thoughts on this, but I didn’t want them because it would sound too much like I Told You So. And she had. She had told me. I just didn’t want to listen.

I felt myself start to get small, my edges drawing inward.

I could handle disappointment. My life had made me very good at it. But the kind that came from Mom hit me differently. It always had.

My chin started to quiver, and I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek. I could feel the sob welling up inside of me and I desperately, desperately wanted it to stop. I didn’t want Maddy to see me upset. If she did, she’d get protective, and Maddy in protect mode was more than I wanted to deal with.

I turned and pretended to be searching for something in a drawer so she wouldn’t see me fighting to keep it together. Then Maddy made a surprised little gasp from next to me. “Hey, Justin!”

I whipped around. Justin was there holding Chelsea and smiling at me over the counter.

“Hey,” I said, blinking at him. “What are you doing here?”

He lifted a bag onto the counter with his free hand. “I made you lunch. Wanted to surprise you,” he said, shifting his sister on his hip. “I know you said you never know when you’re getting your breaks, so I figured I’d just drop it off. I made one for you too, Maddy. Vegetarian. You don’t eat meat, right?”

I felt my face go soft, and the lump in my throat instantly vanished. “Thank you…” I breathed.

Chelsea started to wiggle to get down. “Emma! Maddy!”