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“You don’t want to get married by Santa?”

“Ha. No, not particularly. What about you? Any wedding must-haves?”

“Well, I’ve been married once before. I guess the second time around my main goal would be just to marry someone who isn’t an asshole.”

I laughed and opened the car door for her.

“Big or small wedding?” I asked her, getting in on the other side.

“Small,” she said. “You?”

“It would have to be large. I’d want the town to come,” I said, starting my car.

“The town?” she said, getting buckled in. “This town?”

“Yeah.”

“You want to get married here?”

“Everyone I know and care about is here. It would make the most sense.”

“But you don’t want to live here…” she said slowly. “Where everyone you know and care about lives.”

I realized then what I’d said and it was almost as surprising to me as it was to her.

Yes. This is where most of the important people in my life lived. And no, I wouldn’t want to get married somewhere they wouldn’t travel to.

It wouldn’t feel the same if I didn’t have what Nick was having—all the people I’d grown up with to celebrate with me.

“I guess it would be a destination wedding,” I joked.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about it the whole rest of the way to Rudolph’s for dinner. How a place could hold so many precious memories and people but still be somewhere I hated.

Then again, maybe I didn’t hate it. Not really.

What I hated was the monotony of the five-month holiday. Not the town itself. How much of that really affected me at this point?

I was an adult now. I didn’t have to participate in any of the festivities like I had to when I was young. I wasn’t obligated to work at one of the many retail shops like I did when I was a teenager, ringing up customers with shitty attitudes, listening to the same playlist on continuous loop November through March. I could skip whatever eye-rolling holiday cheer activity I didn’t want to attend. I could live in a house decorated however I wanted—or didn’t want.

Maybe I hadn’t given Little Christmas enough of a chance after I grew up and left. I just stopped coming, so I never made more memories. I just remembered the way it was when I was someone different.

One thing was for sure, the memories I was making now were different too.

I would always recall the moment I noticed Lauren at the bar. No matter how this ended up, even if I never saw her again after this weekend, I’d cherish every minute I got to spend with her. Walking into Holiday Spirits from now on wouldn’t make me think of how much I hated the nonstop Mariah Carey songs they loved to blast or the cheesy decorations they had hanging everywhere. I’d think of a stunningly beautiful woman, a little out of place, turning to look at me with Christmas lights shining in her eyes.

And that I didn’t hate.

11

LAUREN

THE REHEARSAL DINNER WAS over—Noel’s mom got way too drunk, either because Nick’s and William’s parents kept handing her drinks or because she was still processing the whole Getting Married To A Man You Just Met thing. Noel and Nick took her home, and William and I stayed behind at Rudolph’s to sit by the firepit out front and finish our hot chocolates.

“Are you excited to go back to Chicago?” I asked, sipping my drink. “Only two more days and you can flee.”

He looked into the flames. “Have you ever considered moving?” he asked out of nowhere, his eyes coming up to mine.

“I have, actually.”