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“Oh, this is a choice, believe me.” She looked around at my brothers. “And the three of you—you thought this was funny?”

I watched their faces fall.

“Hazing is a tool of the patriarchy,” she said. “Meant to use humiliation to uphold the systems of oppression that you four should be spending your time dismantling. This is toxic masculinity at its finest.”

Leo looked stricken. “But… Grandma—”

“Grandma nothing. Ridiculous.” She shook her head at us.

Simon licked his lips. “So… he should go home, right?”

“No, he should stay exactly where he is. You deserve to do your full sentence for agreeing to this stupidity.”

My brothers looked shocked. I had to hold back a grin.

Rhiannon came around. “Hey all, menus?”

“No thank you, we won’t be staying,” Grandma said.

“This is Rhiannon,” I said. “Rhiannon, this is my grandma.”

Rhiannon lit up. “Oh, hello! He mentioned you. It’s so nice to meet you.”

Grandma looked her over. “Nice to meet you, too, honey.”

Rhiannon tucked the menus under her arm. “Matty says you’ve given him a lot of good advice.”

“Well, I certainly try. Not that they listen.” She turned back to me. “You better tip her well. Looks like she’s putting up with a lot of nonsense.”

Grandma turned her walker. “I’ll see you later,” she said to me. Then she started toward the door with Paulie running ahead to hold it for her.

Leo stayed a moment in the booth, slumped. I smirked at him. “That didn’t go how you thought it was gonna go, did it?”

“Fuck you.”

He ripped my kid’s menu in half and got up and left.

“Have fun at bingo!” I called.

He gave me the finger.

Rhiannon stood next to my table. “I like her.”

“I knew you would.” I turned to her. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Do you think you’d recognize Ben Stiller if you saw him?”

She wrinkled her forehead. “The Zoolander guy?”

“Yeah.”

“Probably?”

I nodded slowly. “I thought that, too, once.”

She gave me a slightly amused look. “That’s an odd question.”