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“I wish you’d come up more,” he said.

“You know I hate it here this time of year.”

He talked to me but watched his fiancée laughing with Mrs. Dillard. “It’s not that bad.”

“The tourists, the same ten Christmas songs playing over and over. Like living in a snow globe.”

“You know how many people would love to live in a snow globe?”

I laughed dryly.

“I get it,” he said. “It still would be nice to see you more. Maybe you can drive up with Lauren.”

That was an instant yes for me. Even if it did mean the final destination was Santa’s butt crack.

“Hey.”

I spun at the voice to find Lauren standing behind me. “How was the bachelor hour?” she asked, smiling.

I smiled back. “Good. Great. Yours?”

She shrugged. “I was peer pressured into getting holly leaves painted on my big toe.”

“Yes, they do that here. Where were you?” I asked.

“Back at the guest house smoothing out some work stuff. Why, did you miss me?”

It was a little flirty.

The corner of my lip quirked up. Unfortunately, before I could flirt back, someone interrupted us.

“William!”

I looked over the crowd. A gray-haired beehive was headed toward me.

“Oh boy,” I said under my breath.

“Who’s that?” Lauren asked, watching her coming.

“Mrs. Cherry Clements,” I said. “My sixth-grade English teacher.”

The old woman pushed between me and Nicolas and gasped dramatically. “William, I’ve been waiting for you to visit for months. I need a lawyer.”

“Mrs. Clements, I explained this before, I do family law. I’m not a litigator—”

“I know, I know. I just need you to shake ’em up a little bit, Willy. They stole my intellectual property!”

“Who did?”

“Some lady online,” she said. “I keep reporting them, but nothing happens.”

“What did they steal?” Lauren asked.

“Here, I’ll show you.” She dug in her large floral carpet bag and came out with a… crocheted penis?

“It’s my original design,” she said. “She stole the pattern. You see the string hairs? Nobody else was doing that. I pioneered the technique. I’ve got a trademark pending and everything.”

Lauren took the penis and turned it over in her hand. “Wow. This is so detailed.”