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“Because I don’t like getting paid in fruitcakes?”

Her cell phone vibrated. “Sorry, I need to check this.” She tapped into her phone and read the message. I watched her face fall.

“Everything okay?” I asked, studying her.

“Yeah. Fine.”

It didn’t look fine. She looked upset.

“Just my assistant manager, Laci,” she said.

I was going to press her for more, but my parents were cutting through the crowd with Nick’s mom and dad. “There he is!”

Nicholas’s dad, Charles, wore a green and red ascot, and his mom was in her full winter ball regalia. A faux fur wrap and allllll the jewels. My parents were wearing their matching plaid suits. From what I could tell, even from halfway across the room, the four of them were drunk.

Mom got to me first and gave me a hug that smelled like mulled wine. “Willy! Why haven’t you stopped by the house?”

“I did,” I said. “You weren’t there.”

“And who’s this?” she asked, pulling away to smile at Lauren.

“This is Lauren, Noel’s best friend. Lauren, this is my mom, Fran; my dad, Ed; and Nick’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Claus.”

I thought I heard her choke.

Nick’s mom put her hand out. “Call me Margaret. And this handsome fellow is Charles.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lauren said.

“We appreciate you coming up here on such short notice,” Charles said. “All this was quite unexpected.”

“It is a little fast, right?” Lauren asked.

My mom waved her off. “We were faster, weren’t we, sweetie.” She put her hand on Dad’s chest. “We knew each other two days before we got engaged. Married by the end of the week. Now we’ve got thirty-five years under our belts. And these two married after, what, a week?”

“Nine days,” Charles said. “She made me wait.” He hiccupped.

“William, I need to ask you a favor,” Mom said.

I shook my head. “I tell you every year and the answer has not changed.”

“They ruined the whole aesthetic!” Mom said. “The neighborhood agreed on white lights and they did the multicolored ones again.”

“You cannot sue someone for using their own property as they see fit,” I said. “There’s no HOA, there’s no contractual obligation—”

“What about emotional distress?” Dad said.

I gave him a look. “Are you actually emotionally distressed over this?”

“Of course! Your mother’s been a mess!”

Mom sniffled.

“What if next year you all did multicolored lights?” Lauren asked.

“That is excellent advice,” I said. “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

“That’s so expensive to replace the lights, though,” Margaret said.