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“I don’t know. I feel like he would say no.”

“Ledger doesn’t say no to anything, trust me. Last week, Walker got him to eat a lollipop that was stuck on the carpet.”

I recoil. “You’re not selling the case.”

“That’s why he is the ideal coach! No risk involved of you developing a crush on him.” She claps her hands, giddy, with a squeal. “Eeep, this is perfect! Now, all we need to do is get you something cute to wear tonight and try our hardest to get Knox away from you for ten minutes so you can pop the question.”

A knot sits heavy in my gut. Knox and I have always, and will always be, best friends. And only best friends. So why do I feel a tinge of guilt asking Ledger to do this without him there? Should I bring him with me?

If the roles were reversed and Knox asked me to come with him to ask a girl out, for practice or otherwise, I genuinely think I might throw up on the spot. At the very least, there would be mild nausea.

I thought for a while there, longer than I’m willing to admit, that something might happen between the two of us. I thought something did happen.

This summer, after I spent weeks and weeks on prepping an “Adopt, Don’t Shop” event for Happy Tails, he was the only one to show up. Rowen was out of town and left me this huge responsibility of my first orchestrated event and it completely flopped.

The two of us spent hours loving on all the dogs and cats, passing out treats and cleaning litter boxes. Knox stayed way later than needed to make sure no one else was coming, and when we had taken down all the signs and decorations, we were left with just us under the twinkly bone-shaped fairy lights at the front of the shelter. He curled his strong arm around me and pulled me close to his chest, rocking us side to side and whispering in my ear.

Don’t you worry about a thing, Felicity. It has nothing to do with you. It was my stupid flyers, I should’ve known better than to use Papyrus font. I’m gonna fix this for you. I’m gonna take care of you.

Moments passed like granules of sand in an hourglass, one by one, and then all at once.

I lifted my head from his chest and stared into those deep green eyes. Those eyes that go all soft for me. Those eyes that I’ve stared into nonstop at our karaoke nights. Eyes I’ve watched shed tears for his sister time and time again. Eyes that carry so much love for everyone around him. And I swear I didn’t imagine it when one of his hands lightly caressed my back and pulled me just an inch closer. I didn’t imagine the way his head dipped down. And I know I didn’t imagine the way he whispered my name, all low and quiet, just for me.

But just before he could finish his thought, before our lips could fully brush, a loud bark from the back interrupted us, resulting in an entire uproar of animals speaking their mind. Knox pulled his hand away, took two steps back, and that was that. He went right back to normal as he slipped out the front doors, and I went to the back to check on all our barking friends.

I thought maybe over the following few weeks he would’ve brought it up, but neither of us have ever mentioned it since. If he was going to ask me out, he would’ve done it by now, right?

“You’re blushing.” Lottie points to my reddened cheeks. “This is going to be so fun.”

I don’t mention that I’m blushing over a memory with her brother—mostly because Lottie had been pushing us to be together for so long and only recently gave up.

Even last winter when the previous senior class was going to their formal, Lottie was coordinating mine and Knox’s color schemes. She wanted me in a tight mint dress and Knox in a suit with a matching bow tie and suspenders. I believe there was a whole Pinterest board made and everything.

“Do you think Ledger has plans for the Winter Formal?”

Lottie raises a brow at me. “You want to do this all the way through the formal? I was thinking maybe a week.”

“Oh.” Maybe I’m underestimating myself—or she is overestimating me—but a week seems impossibly fast to get ready enough for this. “I was more so just thinking I’d like to be fully ready for an actual date to the formal than taking Ledger.”

“If it was up to Ledger, he probably wouldn’t go at all.”

I shrug, that’s true. He’s not much of a formal guy.

“Let go of the timeline for now,” Lottie says as she rearranges her bangs in the mirror again. It doesn’t help. “Focus on getting a coach to teach you everything you need to know, and then we can find the right guy and figure out details later.”

So that’s the plan then: Just find a coach, one who preferably is the exact opposite of what I’m actually wanting in a relationship.

Chapter Four Knox

The bonfire’s already going strong by the time Walker and I pull up the dirt drive to Ledger’s property. Someone must’ve tossed some of the nearby cedar branches into the fire, because the whole field smells like fresh cut wood and burning smoke.

After today’s workload, I am more than relieved to be back with my people with no cows or manure or infections or spreadsheets involved.

Today wasn’t necessarily a bad day at work. I don’t know if you’re allowed to have those when you’re doing exactly what you told everyone you wanted for the last nineteen years, but it wasn’t…ideal.

I mean, sitting with my dad and watching him go over quarterly spreadsheets of crop predictions and budget cuts isn’t the end of the world, but the entire time, my fingers kept itching, pushing me to just get back outside. To go back to the basics. Relief didn’t come until we were out of the main house and back in the open doors of the shop where Miller and two of the other guys were working on one of the tractor engines.

It has to be because of fall’s quick approach; it’s my favorite season and I think my body is just trying to push me to be outside as much as possible. The transition of late September has that bite of cool air that hits only after the sun sets—it’s still warm enough to sweat, still humid enough to frizz Felicity’s already curly hair, but it’s cool enough in the shadows for a jacket. I always liked the transition between summer and fall. That weird in-between, like the weather can’t decide what it wants to be yet.