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He’s a mere inch away when that word honesty floats back into my mind, and my fingers on his arm abruptly palm his chest.

“Wait.”

To his credit, Knox doesn’t even hesitate as he pulls back, worry lining his features. “Are you okay?”

I nod, my fingers staying fisted in his shirt, like if I let go now, he might slip out of my grasp entirely. “I…need to tell you something.”

His lips tilt up in the cutest smirk I’ve ever seen, a blush creeping over his freckled cheeks.

“Can you tell me in about three minutes?”

Gah, three whole minutes of kissing him… Do I really want to put a pause on this? No. But do I want to repeat what happened this summer by us simply not communicating? Also no.

I shake my head. “It’s about the guy we’ve been looking for.”

Knox adjusts his position, pulling me with him so we’re both sitting up.

“I don’t know how to say this—”

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve been talking to my mom.”

“Oh…” I see him trying to lock in, trying to not make this ruin our moment, and I hate that I know it’s going to anyway. “Okay. What does this have to do with us finding this guy?”

I’ve never not told him when she and I speak, and facing that it’s been nearly four weeks of my lying by omission now makes me realize just how shitty this is. I feel like I’ve been swiping left and right on a credit card and now the bill has come in, only to realize I’ve blacked out and spent ten thousand dollars and have to face the consequences.

“Well, I was thinking about the whole dating aspect and just love in general, and I remembered how she used to talk about this guy when I was really young. And Riley’s mentioned it in passing, too, that my mom was really in love with him around the time I was born and—”

Shock flickers in his eyes. Then something else—hurt? Frustration?

“You’re trying to find your dad?”

“No, not necessarily. I just… I think I’ve found a real reason for her to stay this time, Knox.”

I whisper the words like maybe if I say them too loud the universe will hear and I’ll jinx the whole thing. The lost look on his face tells me I’m nuts, and maybe I am, but this is the first time in years I’ve had a real, genuine reason to keep her here. To make my family my own again.

Not just a second cousin or my best friend’s family or Rowen and his mom, but my own flesh and blood back together again.

He can’t understand what that means to me…

“I’ve been texting with her. A lot. I know you don’t want me to answer but—”

“I just don’t want her getting your hopes up again.”

“Well, she’s coming to town for Thanksgiving.”

“She said this?”

“Yes. Multiple times.”

“Has she bought plane tickets? Made arrangements to stay? Showed any real signs that she’s making it this year?” There’s annoyance in his tone, and I don’t even want to say this next part because I know he’s never going to believe it but…

“We’ve already paid for it all. She really is coming, Knox, I swear.”

“Wait, wait, wait. We as in you both or we as in just you bought tickets and a place for her to stay?”

I don’t dignify that with a response. He doesn’t understand. Her money is tight and I am an over-the-top saver. Gosh, why couldn’t I have just dropped this earlier and kissed him and brought it up another day? We’re still only inches apart, and yet I feel cold, like he’s moved all the way across the room.