Page 36

Very gently, I lift up the back of my sister’s nightdress. There is a welt at the base of her spine, the size of a walnut, a spiderweb of bluish-red veins radiating out from it.

The stimulant gun. Dr. Blythe must have been using it a lot, since Hazel never learned how to use the Auguries on her own.

“The Duchess was so mad,” Hazel says, staring at her hands. “She screamed and threw things when Dr. Blythe told her I wouldn’t . . . that I couldn’t . . .”

“It’s a good thing,” I say. “Childbirth kills surrogates.”

“What?”

“There’s so much to explain. But for right now, can you tell me what she wants?” I ask. “If she isn’t trying to get you pregnant anymore?”

Hazel shakes her head. “I don’t know. The next time I saw her she was calm and said I had to be . . . changed. That’s when the doctor started cutting my face.” She probes her cheek and nose with one hand. “What do I look like?” she asks fearfully.

I try and put on a brave smile. “You look fine,” I reassure her. “You . . . well, actually, you look like me.”

Her eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”

“Everyone in the Jewel thinks you are me,” I say.

“So . . . did you come back to take my place?”

She looks so eager and a guilt I wasn’t prepared for rears up.

“Listen to me,” I say, cupping her face in my hands. “If staying down here meant that you could go back home to Mother, I would do it in a heartbeat. But . . .” The words burn as they leave my mouth. “I can’t take you away, Hazel. Not yet.”

“Wait, what? You’re just going to . . . to leave me here?” she cries.

“I’m living in the palace,” I say. “I’ll be watching over you all the time, I promise. But if I let you go, they’ll catch you and they’ll know someone is helping you. And then we’re both dead. There’s so much going on in this city right now. I wish I could explain it all to you.”

Hazel crumples, her head dropping into her hands. The seconds tick past in silence.

“So . . . you would have died here?” she whispers.

“Yes,” I whisper back.

“Am I going to die here?” Her voice is so small and frightened. I wrap my arms around her.

“No,” I say firmly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I bite my lip, tears welling up again. “Remember those first few weeks after Father died?”

She nods against my chest.

“Remember how frightened you were, because Mother was barely speaking and Ochre kept getting into fights at school?”

Another nod. We don’t talk about that time much. I haven’t thought about it in years, because it’s just too painful. But I need my sister to know that she is family, and I will never ever give up on her.

“What did we do together?”

“We lit a candle every night,” Hazel says. “You said Father could see us through the light. And you told me you could hear him. He would say that family is forever, and that we were always together, really, because he was watching me and he was proud. He would tell me he missed me and he loved me and . . . but, Violet, you made all that up, and I was a kid then, so I believed you.”

“Who says I made it up?” I say. “Father did watch us through that candlelight. He does miss you and he loves you. He’s watching over you right now. And so am I. Family is forever. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. And I will get you out of this place. I promise.” A lump rises in my throat. “I let you believe I’d forgotten you once before. I told myself I’d never let you believe that again.”

“I’m scared.”

“Me too.”

“Mother must be scared, too,” Hazel says. “And sad. We’re all gone now.”

The lump in my throat gets bigger. “Father’s watching over her as well,” I say.