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Does this mean we’re, like, together? Does he want that? I know we talked about feelings and stuff last night but maybe he only meant that this was a casual thing. Casual feelings.
But I don’t do casual feelings. He knows that right?
We wait by the elevator doors, and there’s a faint ringing in my ears. They open, and we step inside the elevator. As soon as the doors close, Agustín pulls me into him, holding me tight.
“Hey,” he murmurs into my hair.
All the tension drains out of me. My mind quiets. My pulse slows.
The Wheel click-click-clicks to a stop.
This is where I belong.
I don’t have anything to be scared of.
I take a deep breath. It’s ohhhh so very nice to be held like this. To feel like nothing exists outside the circle of his arms. I tilt my head up to him, and he smiles down at me. His lips brush softly over mine, sending zips of electricity over my skin.
By the time the elevator doors open, I’m calm. We hold hands and walk down the hall to our room. While I poke through the closet and debate what to wear, Agustín lounges in one of the chairs on the balcony. I think he’s giving me space to get ready, and I appreciate that. For a moment, I run my fingers over the garment bag that contains the dress I’ll wear to the wedding. I wonder if Agustín will like it. If he’ll think I look pretty.
I’m suddenly very glad Rachel is doing my makeup.
I grab some clothes and scurry into the bathroom, turning on the shower and luxuriating in the amazing water pressure. When I get out, wiping steam from the mirror, I feel like I should pinch my cheeks to remind myself that this is real. I kissed a guy last night. And then again just now, in an elevator. And there is more kissing in my future.
And he’s like the best person I’ve ever known. I’ve never felt this safe with someone before. Besides Rachel, obviously. But there’s a deep sense of relief in knowing, all the way to my bones, that I can trust Agustín. That he will never let me down.
I dress in jeans and a green tank top. It seems to get hot during the day but cool in the mornings and evenings, so after I apply a tiny bit of mascara and lip gloss, I leave the bathroom to grab my favorite cardigan with the crotched flowers and slip my feet into my vintage boots.
Agustín is frowning at something on his phone when I get out on the balcony.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
He quickly puts his phone away. “Just work.” He looks up at me and a sudden smile breaks across his face. “That’s the outfit you were wearing the day we first met.”
I look down at myself, and my skin prickles at the memory. “Oh, right.” I have to smile now too. “I was terrified.”
He chuckles and stands. “I thought I was doing something wrong.”
“You? Never.”
I see some flash of tension in his eyes, but then both our phones start to ping.
“The Pack,” I say, grabbing my phone out of my pocket and watching the group thread light up. Hazelnut is clearly living her best life with Sanvi and Kate—today, she and Sanvi are wearing matching sequined jackets and aviators.
Kate: We put Hazelnut in one of our workout videos and guys … she’s a STAR. A real natural.
There are updates from Miriam, and Gretchen, and then Madame Boularès uploads a video. It’s in Mr. Bloom’s apartment, I’m guessing—it’s certainly not hers, with her husband’s shrine and ornate furniture. Mr. Bloom stands in the center of a cramped but pleasant room that looks sort of like an eccentric professor’s study, crammed bookshelves, sheet music everywhere, a squashy armchair by a window, a braided rug on the floor. He’s playing his viola while the Colonel sits on the floor at his feet, gazing up at him, enraptured.
The Colonel does love Mozart.
Madame Boularès: He is very good.
I can’t tell if she means the violist or the dog.
“She’s in his apartment,” Agustín says. “Do you think they’re …”
He trails off and waggles his eyebrows at me.
“What?” I yelp. “No. No way.” I pause and think about it for a minute. “Wait, do you?”