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“How did the conversation go?” I asked.

“I guess it needed to happen, you know?” She paused. “But I don’t know why she would text again. I thought maybe the call would put a stop to it.”

“Should I reply for you again? I’ll talk to her if you want.”

Chloe’s eyes flickered with sadness, but also a soft warmth. “I know you want to protect me, Lincoln, slay all my dragons and all that. It’s okay. I have to do it myself.”

She paused, her gaze thoughtful, the silence stretching between us. I could feel her sadness lingering in the space, the throbbing ache of it. This was something Chloe and I shared. All the details were different, but we shared an understanding that some things would always hurt a little bit. You could never completely erase the pain. It was more that you learned how to carry it and keep on living while your heart bore the scars.

“We’re never going to be friends again. Should I read the text?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I haven’t read it, but I recognized the number.”

Her lips curled in another soft, sad smile. “Read it for me,” she said.

I lifted her phone with my free hand and tapped to open it “She says she’s just texting to let you know she wishes it was different, but she understands. And she’s sorry. Again.”

Chloe nodded, letting out a little bitter laugh. “I think she really is sorry, but she’s going to have to figure this out herself. I think she thought maybe if I forgave her that it would absolve her of the betrayal, that she would feel better and wouldn’t feel like she’d done anything wrong. I’m not sure I’m at forgiveness yet, but I’m at acceptance in a way that I wasn’t before. That phone call helped me get there.”

I squeezed her hand. “Good.”

She held my gaze and my heart felt cracked open to see a sheen of tears in her eyes. I leaned across the small table and gave her a fierce kiss. When I leaned back, I asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am. You know, you can talk to me any night. We don’t have to have hot sex.” I chuckled, my heart kicking hard and fast. “That wasn’t a complaint about that, by the way,” she added.

“Well, that’s good. I’d have to up my game if it was,” I teased lightly. She squeezed my hand.

“If you don’t want to talk when you have your nightmares, I’ll sit with you and have cocoa or whatever.”

Having cocoa in the middle of the night would always hold a soft place in my heart because that was what had led to us. “I know,” I said.

I did know, but those doubts I kept rummaging through, even though I knew better, were noisy and stubborn. I could be there for anyone who needed me. Yet, I didn’t know how to let someone really be there for me, how to get those emotional doubts to shut the fuck up.

That night, when I woke again from a nightmare, I stayed in bed. In hindsight, I probably should have wandered the halls because I slept like shit for the rest of the night.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chloe

Holiday chaos

I was relieved that Lincoln and I had finally talked, even as much as it hurt a little to realize we had gotten out of sync. After my conversation with Lara, I had to keep reminding myself she was my ex-friend. It was pure habit that I thought of her as a friend when she had been anything but when it mattered. Old habits died so freaking hard.

It was so busy at the resort now. I supposed I would have thought it would be busier in the summer, or any season but winter. But this holiday time was absolutely frantic. So many people were here for the holidays. Between the Thanksgiving meal and now the Christmas event, there were entire productions to organize, and I felt almost overwhelmed. Well, not almost, I actually was.

Even though I was still worrying about Lincoln and his nightmares, which woke me every time he had one, I also knew I needed to give him the space. I wanted to be pushy about it, but that felt like a mistake.

“Oh, my God!” Elsa exclaimed as she plunked down on a kitchen stool beside me in the family kitchen early one evening. I glanced over. Her ponytail was lopsided, her hair honestly kind of a mess. But then so was mine, so no judgment.

“What’s up?” I asked, reaching for a cracker and a piece of cheese from the charcuterie board Tommy had assembled earlier. It was shaped like a Christmas tree and already half destroyed.

“I’m exhausted. I love snowshoeing, but it’s tiring. We had to tromp a few miles through the snow to deal with fix some trail cams that got messed up.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“A bird landed on it and knocked it over. All we could see was snow. Based on the claws that covered the front of the camera, we think it was an eagle, but it was a little blurry. We’re just going on color alone.”

I let out a snort. “I love your job.”