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Armand knew how difficult that was. To actually say the words out loud to someone else. To own it.

“Not unlike yourself,” the psychologist had said when Gamache had told him of his most recent interview with Comeau. The trauma specialist was studying the Chief Inspector and gauging his reaction to those words. “When you were first starting out.”

“You’ve been reading again. Didn’t anyone warn you, you could go blind.”

“I don’t think it was reading that could do that, and certainly not reading your file.”

Armand smiled. “I hope not.”

“But of course, I’ve studied your file. You’re a senior officer, in charge of hundreds. We need to make sure you’re—”

“Sane?”

“Well, at least not insane.”

“This isn’t about me—”

“You’re the one who’ll make the ultimate decision.”

“This’s about Gaston Comeau.”

Agents were streaming in and out of his office with updates. Occasionally Gamache needed to interrupt their session to read and sign off on a report, since their other cases were still ongoing.

Then he’d turn back to the psychologist. “What do you think?”

“Of Agent Comeau? I think that, while catastrophic, it was a one-off. If anything, he’s now in danger of being too bold.”

“To prove to himself he’s not a coward?”

“To prove it to you. He might even risk getting himself hurt, maybe killed.”

“A martyr? An extreme hair shirt?”

“More a desire to be a hero than a martyr.”

“That can be equally dangerous.”

“True, but Agent Comeau has a well-developed survival instinct—”

“Yes, I got that much.”

“—and a keener-than-average desire to help those around him. It deserted him in that first raid, but I’m as sure as I can be that that will not happen again.”

The therapist, who Gamache knew well from their own sessions, and who obviously knew the Chief very well, leaned forward.

“He’s a good man, Armand. A decent man. I believe he’ll grow into an exceptional Sûreté officer, given a chance. He might even become a great leader one day. Not despite what happened, but because of it.”

“Things are strongest where they’re broken?”

“I think so. You believe it too.”

“I do, but there are exceptions. Not every wound heals, not every break mends. Some get infected, and that infection spreads.”

“True. Just know, if you don’t reinstate him, and that’s certainly one option, perhaps the safest one, damage will be done. There are many ways to die, Armand. Not all of them physical.” He lifted and dropped his hands. “I can’t make the decision for you.”

As he left, the psychologist tapped the poster and smiled back at the Chief.

Gamache put off making his decision until the last moment. What tipped the balance was when he realized he needed every possible agent.