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Nicole takes a deep breath and lets it out with a whoosh. “Finally, the response I expected! This is huge. So, you can’t back out now. It’s literally the answer to your prayers. But more than that, it’s bigger than you. You’ll be a role model for every pro-sex feminist in the whole freaking country!”
21
My knees wobble, and Jordan wraps an arm around my waist to keep me from dropping to the ground.
“The whole country?” I croak.
“Amazing, right?” Nicole beams. “You’re famous!”
“No!” I shriek, my eyes darting from Nicole to Jordan as the realization sinks in.
The entire campus discovering my most intimate secrets was bad enough, but to lay them out for the whole country to see? The whole world? My mother.
Oh God . . . my father!
“Not amazing.” I swallow the rising panic. “I never asked to be anyone’s role model!”
“It’s a little late for that.” Nicole laughs as if my unwanted fame is no big deal. And I guess to her it isn’t. She’s not the one in the spotlight. She’s not the one risking something new and wonderful to play a dangerous game she never wanted to play to begin with.
“I’m not doing it.” I shake my head and back away from her . . . from the reality I can’t bear to face. “No way.”
“You don’t have a choice at this point. It’s completely out of our hands.”
The vein in Jordan’s forehead pulses, and a growl rolls up his throat. “That’s bullshit! Kennedy doesn’t have to go along with some idiotic plan to lose her virginity simply because someone she’s never met before decided to make her their poster child for sexual awakening.”
“Did it ever occur to you that Kennedy might need that damn scholarship?” Nicole hisses, stalking toward Jordan with her poking finger poised to jab into his chest. “That maybe going along with this idiotic plan is the best chance she has to finish her degree? You want to ruin that for her?”
With my best friend on the verge of spilling the beans, my jaw goes slack, and my breath catches. “Nicole, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” She whips her head toward me, her eyes flashing dangerously. “Don’t tell him you won’t be here next semester without it?”
Jordan’s eyebrows pull together in a tight V as he stares down at me. “What is she talking about?”
“Nothing.” I glare at Nicole, balling up my hands so I don’t throttle her. Who the hell does she think she is telling my secrets? “Don’t listen to her.”
“Nothing? Way to start a relationship built on lies.” Nicole turns her venom on Jordan. “But don’t sweat it, Keller. She can probably still enroll here with what she gets from Hope. She’ll have to supplement with a shitload of loans she’ll be paying off until she’s fifty. Not to mention the two jobs she’ll have to work to make up the difference. And she’ll have to move back home to save money. Of course, that’s not what you want, is it, Kennedy? Did you ever hear back about any of the other scholarships you applied for?”
“Stop!” I clench my teeth, less than two seconds from completely losing it. “Damn it, Nicole! If you weren’t my oldest—my closest—friend . . .”
“I know . . .” She rolls her eyes. “You wouldn’t like me very much. And I get it, but I’m not sorry. Not this time.”
Jordan brushes a runaway tear from my cheek. “Is that true?”
Instead of crumpling into a ball on the pavement, I blink back the deluge and scramble for something to say.
He takes my hand and locks his gaze on mine, as if he can pull the answers from the depths of my irises. “Princess?”
Exhaustion takes over, and I release a breath. I’m tired of fighting—Nicole, my mom, the train wreck my life has become. “Yes, it’s true. My mom can’t afford to cover next semester’s tuition. And between that and housing, Hope won’t be enough. But it’ll be fine. I still have other options.”
Nicole throws up her hands. “Stop pretending this isn’t a big deal!”
“I’ll figure something out, okay?” I want to strangle her with my bare hands for the way Jordan’s looking at me now. I never wanted him to know—never wanted him to feel sorry for me.
“Or . . . you could let Eve’s Orchid interview you and be good for the next two years!” she snaps.
Another stray tear falls, and I swipe a hand under my eyes. “I could still land one of those other scholarships.”
“And I could land a slot on American Idol.” Nicole’s snarky facade falls away, and she looks as stricken as I feel. “It’s been months. The semester is more than half over. Surely you would’ve heard something by now.”
