Page 29
“Sleep? Yeah, the whole night. You fell asleep watching the game. You were drooling on my shoulder.”
“Fuck sorry,” I apologize, cringing. Fuck, that is not how you make a good impression.
She shrugs nonchalantly as if it didn’t bother her in the slightest and hands me a cup, then sits beside me on the couch. “I didn’t know if you had anything in it.” She points to the warm coffee cup I’m twirling between my palms. “But there is sugar and milk on the counter.”
“Oh no, this is fine, thank you.” I didn’t expect her to make me coffee. I didn’t even expect to sleep the whole night, so sitting here with a warm cup of coffee in my hands is a lot more than I anticipated, but I’m not complaining, not in the slightest.
“So…” She starts. Leaning back against the pillow, her eyes on mine as I take a sip of the still-hot coffee, almost burning my tongue in the process.
“I’m guessing this means you’ll be staying on my couch until we have another solution?”
“I’m so—”
“Don’t,” she says sternly. “You are not going to apologize again…I want you here. I like spending time with you, and if I didn’t want you here, I wouldn’t have offered. The only thing I want is for you to get better, and if that means you’ll sleep on my couch, then you’ll sleep on my couch. It’s a bonus for me. I’m helping you, and I’m not alone here in this house, so trust me, I’m not complaining.”
She likes spending time with me. Those are the only words I caught before my mind went blank. I know I should be sorry, since she’s angry at me, but her telling me she wants me around is some of the best words someone has ever said to me. “You like spending time with me?”
She raises an eyebrow. “Seriously? Those are the only words you remember?” She leans closer to me, her hand hovering above my knee. “Carson, do you really think I would let someone sleep on my couch if I didn’t like them?”
She probably would. She would let a homeless man sleep on her couch so he wouldn’t have to sleep on the street.
“Okay, I probably would. I don’t like it when people suffer.”
See? I’m a mind reader. I have only known her for a few days, and I can already read her like a puzzle.
“Look, Carson…” Alexis scoots closer, our knees touching. “I don’t have many people I talk to. I have been alone for most of my life. I only have one friend, so talking and spending time with you is a big deal for me, okay? I know what you’re going through, and I want to help, so will you please let me do that?”
Fuck the thought of her being alone for most of her life is like taking a bullet to the chest. No one deserves to grow up alone, but the thought of Alexis, who’s so incredibly selfless pains me, but hearing her say she likes spending time with me. That’s entirely different. I swear I’m blushing. I feel like a kid in middle school who developed his first crush. Fuck.
“Okay.”
“Yeah? You’re gonna let me help you?”
“Yes, I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”
She laughs loudly, her loose hair framing her face like a curtain. “We’ll see, Carson. We’ll see.”
My phone pings numerous times. I swipe across the screen, seeing multiple texts from the family group chat asking if I’m coming over for lunch and if I’ll join them at the beach later. I groan, bonking my head on the side table. Alexis looks up from the puzzle she was working on, a lollipop in her mouth.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just my family. They’re asking if I want to come over for lunch.” I scratch my jaw, diverting my gaze in shame.
“I uhm—I haven’t been very present the past year. I have shut them out almost completely. I know I shouldn’t, but I don’t want to worry them.”
“You’re grieving. Everybody grieves differently. I’m sure they would understand if you explain everything.
“I know, I guess I should tell them. I owe it to them.”
“You don’t owe anyone anything, but if you want, you could tell them. Maybe it would help.”
“Did you talk to anyone, about what happened to you?”
“About what happened with Micah?”
I nod unsure, I don’t know if I should have brought it up, she hasn’t talked much about him. I don’t want to bring up bad memories.
“Not really, I talk to Ash about him, but the worse part is no one knows him like I do. I wish I could talk to someone who knew him for who he was alive. And for once not talk about what happened the night he died.
