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“We can explain,” he says, breathing hard.
“That’s not what I asked.”
Fuck my heart hurts. Was I such a bad brother and friend that they didn’t want to tell me? I would never do something to sabotage them. But the thought that they had been hiding it from me for god knows how long makes my stomach turn.
“Six months,” Connor confesses, trying to step closer to me. I shake my head, taking a few steps back. Six months. They were dating for six months, and I never realized.
Fuck I have been so egocentric that I didn’t realize the truth. I turn away from them, leaning my hands on my knees.
“Why?” I ask.
They look terrified, absolutely terrified. Killian’s hands tremble. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I mean for my words to come out as a demand. Instead, it sounds more like a broken whisper. God, I’m a terrible brother. “Did you think I would make you break up?” I hope they’ll shake their head, that they’ll tell me there was another reason, a reason that wouldn’t hurt this fucking much. Instead, I’m met with silence. They lower their head, averting their gaze in shame. Jesus fucking Christ. A broken laugh escapes my mouth.
My best friend and my brother have been secretly going on behind my back. For months, because they thought I would make them break up—my brother and my best friend. Two of the best men I know thought I would sabotage their relationship. Fuck this hurts. I know I shouldn’t make a big deal out of this, since they seem to be broken up. But for some reason I can’t help it. The thought of them hiding something so big from me hurts like a motherfucker. I turn around, leaving them standing there. I go to the bar and order a drink. And another and another. I lose count after three. The only thing that matters is that the pain in my chest is gone.
Chapter Fifteen
Alexis
The sound of a car door slamming shut brings me out of my slumber. I blink several times until I’m used to the bright outdoor lamp that’s shining through a gap between my curtains. I sit up, leaning against the headboard. Eyes closing again from exhaustion, I glance over at my clock: 02:34 am. Why is there someone slamming doors at this time? I grab my phone, seeing no new messages or calls. I had made sure it wasn’t on silent in case Carson needed me to pick them up.
Is that Carson who’s coming home? I had given him a key so he could let himself in. I stumble downstairs, eyeing the couch, but it’s just as empty as it was when I went to bed. I hear voices muttering outside my front door. “Alexis!” A voice slurs. I open my door and see three familiar faces. One is my neighbor, who is currently lying on the ground.
What the—?
“Carson?” I ask, confused, when I’m hovering over him. “Why are you on the ground?”
He shrugs, giving me an adorable grin. God, he’s drunk. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Hurts? What doesn’t hurt?
“What doesn’t hurt anymore, Cars?” I kneel next to him.
He slams his hands down on his chest with a force that must hurt.
“My heart.”
His heart? Why was his heart hurting?
With wide eyes, I look up at Killian and Connor, but they both avert their eyes. “Why did your heart hurt?”
He huffs, staring at his brother and best friend with such sadness, it breaks my heart. “Because I’m a bad brother and friend.”
What the fuck?
“You’re not a bad brother, Cars. Please don’t say that,” Connor pleads. He tries to step closer to his brother, but Carson shakes his head repeatedly.
“Do you think I’m a bad friend, Sunshine?” His voice wavers, and I hear the sadness in his words. He really thinks he’s a bad friend.
Fuck.
I shake my head, palming his face, tilting it up so he’s looking at me.
What the fuck happened in that bar?
“No, of course not. You’re the best friend.” I stroke his cheek with my thumb. His eyes close, and a grin forms on his face.
“You are not a bad friend,” Killian chokes, his hair messy, eyes filled with guilt. “You—you. Fuck.” Killian nears us. “Look at me,” he pleads. Carson ignores him, pretending he didn’t hear him. He keeps his bloodshot eyes on mine, still grinning up at me.
