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“Does this have anything to do with you guys dating?” They jolt in surprise.
“You knew?” Killian asks. I raise my eyebrows at him.
“No, but you just confirmed my suspicion.” He sags in defeat.
Connor leans against the doorpost, his hand tucked in his pocket. “Please tell me he knew.” They don’t move for a few seconds, then shake their heads.
Fucking hell.
No wonder he was acting the way he was. His best friend and brother had been seeing each other behind his back for god knows how long. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
“Because—we…I—” Killian groans. “We thought…We weren’t thinking, okay?”
“We thought we would have to break up if he knew,” Connor interjects. I stare at him, frozen. They think Carson wouldn’t be supportive of his best friend and his brother? I don’t know him that long, but even I can see he loves them both and wouldn’t give a damn if they were dating.
“So you’re telling me.” I pull on my eyelid. “That you thought that your brother and best friend, who loves you both dearly, would break you up?” They look away.
“He wouldn’t give a single fuck.”
“We know that now, okay?” Killian yells, causing Carson to stir. He groans softly, his eyes open then close again. I stroke his back, my other hand playing with his hair. He’s asleep again within seconds. “Keep your voice down,” I hiss, eyeing both of them. I can see they regret it. The despair shines bright in both their faces.
“He thinks he’s a bad brother.” I meet Connor’s eyes, needing him to hear these words. He lowers his head in shame. “He said his heart hurts,” I say, recalling the sadness in his words. “He got drunk, so his heart wouldn’t hurt.” I calm my breathing, anger flowing through my veins. Carson nuzzles closer to me, as if he can feel my emotions. “And you.”
I point to Killian, who can barely keep himself from falling. “Did you really think that lowly of your friend, your best friend?” He shakes his head rapidly tears pooling in his eyes, I know I should calm down that this isn’t my fight, but seeing Carson laying on the ground, asking me if he was a good friend, broke my heart in pieces. No one should have to wonder that, and especially not Carson, who has been there for me, every single time I needed him. He was there when he didn’t need to be, but just wanted to. He’s the guy who makes me breakfast every morning and gave me something that meant the world to me days after meeting me. He brings me flowers after he saw that my vase was empty. He comforted me after my nightmare and cried because he hated what had happened to me. He should never have to wonder if he’s a good friend. He’s one of the best friends I have.
I have talked to Ash about him, and he can’t wait to meet him. Ash wants to thank him for taking care of me and comforting me when I needed it most. The thought of Carson thinking he’s a bad friend and brother makes my rage spike. I want to put him in a bubble so he’s safe and no one will ever hurt him again.
“He talks about you so much,” I tell Killian, and it’s the truth. He talks about things they did, and how grateful he is to have him as a best friend. “And you treat him like this?” I shake my head in disbelief. “He deserves better.” They both nod but stay quiet.
“I’m guessing you broke up?” I point between them. “Since you guys can’t stand to be in the same room together.”
“Yes,” Killian says, but Connor shakes his head. Killian sees it too. “What do you mean no? You broke up with me.”
“You know I didn’t mean that. If you’d answer my ca—”
“That’s enough, God, you are acting like two five-year-olds.”
They pause their bickering. “You need to figure this thing. Whatever this is out.” Carson’s soft breaths tickle my skin.
“Because you’re hurting him—and I’m not going to sit here and let you do that. He deserves better than that.” They nod their head.
“We know,” Connor says dejectedly. “We never meant to hurt him…He’s not a bad brother, I swear. We were just being egocentric and only thought about ourselves. But we’ll fix it. I promise we’ll fix it.”
Killian stares at Carson, deep in thought. “He’s my best friend,” he whispers. “He’s the best friend I could ever wish for. Hearing him say, he’s a horrible friend.” He shakes his head. “It breaks my heart. I didn’t want to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him.”
They stand there in silence. I hope they’re coming up with a solution. I meant what I said. I’m not going to let them hurt him anymore. “You guys should go. I’ll take care of him.”
“Okay,” Killian mumbles with slumped shoulders. Connor opens my bedroom door, then meets my eyes over his shoulder, sparing me one last glance. “Thank you. For looking out for him.”
I give him a nod. “Always.” They quietly leave the room. Connor tries to give Killian a side hug, but he surpasses him, striding down the stairs. The door closes with a soft click. I retract my fingers out of Carson’s hair, trying to come up with a solution about how I’m going to remove him from my lap without waking him up. His eyes open, blinking in the darkness.
“Sunshine,” he murmurs tiredly. I brush a few strands of his forehead.
“I’m here.”
He mumbles something. I grab him by his shoulders to lift him. “Honey?” He melts in my arms at the word. “Can I get up for a second?”
“No,” he mumbles under his breath, pressing his face against my leg.