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“The first day we met. I started decorating it the same evening you told me he liked Mickey Mouse.”

“You did this?”

He grabs my hand, kissing each fingertip. “I told you. I liked you from the day we met. I would never be able to meet him properly, but doing this made me feel closer to him. I know how much he means to you. I wanted to make sure he was taken care of.”

I don’t know what to say. He took care of my brother even tho he never met him.

He brings him flowers and toys, things he never had growing up. All because he knew it meant a lot to me. He started it the day I told him. We barely knew each other then.

I appreciated the car toy he gave me, but I had no idea he did all of this. The Lego Mickey Mouse is huge. It must have taken him ages to put it together. “I don’t know what to say.” I have no idea how to thank him for this.

“You don’t need to say anything. I wanted to do this.” He sits down on the grass a few feet away from Micah’s headstone and pats the space next to him. “Come sit.”

I lower myself into the grass, staring at my brother’s name, his smiling face greeting me.

“Okay, buddy, I’ve brought a guest.” Carson’s hand grips my thigh. I can’t get my head around the fact that he called him buddy and said that he brought a guest.

“Did you—Have you talked to him?”

“I have. We’ve talked a lot the past few weeks. He knows all my darkest secrets.” He grins cheekily, patting my thigh.

“But mostly we talk about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, of course you, about how you forgot your sunscreen, and how you stood up for me at the beach. I told him about my feelings for you, how scared I was that you wouldn’t feel the same, and of course how you are doing.”

“You’ve been talking to my brother?”

Carson shrugs nonchalantly “I don’t know if he hears me, but I like to think he does.” He smiles down at the grave, neatly rearranging the flowers. “I wanted him to know that you’re okay. That there are people who will look after you.”

He’s been talking to my brother about me. To let him know that I’m okay. Fuck I’m going to cry. Tears pool in my eyes. I sniffle. Carson’s eyes widen.

“Don’t cry, baby. I’m sorry.” He pulls me into his arms, his face pulled tight with worry.

“You’ve been talking to my brother,” I repeat, my voice shaking. He pulls me into his lap, cupping my face in his hands.

“Don’t cry, please don’t cry.”

“You’re so perfect, you bring him flowers, and toys. You talk to him as if he really exists. You—“ my voice breaks. “What did I do to deserve you?” He opens his mouth, but before he can talk, I press my lips against his, hoping to tell him all the things I can’t voice out loud. The gratitude, passion, even love. He has no idea how much he means to me, but I’ll tell him every day, in every way possible. He groans in my mouth, tangling his fingers in my hair, then way too soon he pulls away, breathing heavily. He leans his forehead against mine.

“It kills me to do this,” he groans. “But I can’t do that to my buddy.” My heart races. Fuck. Poor Micah. He grabs my hand and interlocks our fingers. Kissing my head softly before whispering just above my ear.

“Talk to your brother, baby.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Carson

Talking to her brother has helped tremendously. Her eyes are lighter, as if a weight has lifted off her shoulders. We sat there for hours, just talking until it started getting dark. She talked about everything. Things she did growing up, experiences she had, about her friendship with Asher.

She had thanked him for being such a good brother and talked about how much she missed him and wished he was here right now. She kept smiling and laughing in a way that I’ve never seen before. There is still the lingering sadness that will stay for the rest of her life. But I’m going to try my best to help her through the tough times.

“Thank you,” she whispers from the passenger seat. Her voice barely audible. Our hands interlocked, a lollipop in her other hand. I give her hand a light squeeze, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles. “Of course, baby.”

A song plays on the radio, one I’ve never heard before, but I see Alexis singing along. Grinning, I turn it up. Her eyes twinkle in a way that lights my chest on fire. She should always look so happy. She deserves nothing but the best. I don’t know what will happen next with Micah’s murder, now they have a new clue. I’m guessing they will let us know when they find something. But we’ll see when that will be.

I turn on my blinker, scan the empty intersection, then turn into our street. I rarely go to my house anymore, only to grab some clothes or necessities I need for work. I eat either at the station or at Alexis’s house. I don’t know what our sleeping arrangement will be now. Does she expect me to sleep on the couch? Or in her bed? The past few days have been a whirlwind, so I haven’t slept on the couch since last week because of the night shift I’ve worked and the nights I’ve slept in Alexis’s bed. But Asher is at her place now too, and I know her guestroom isn’t furnished yet. So one of us would have to sleep on the couch.