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Shame washed over me like a tidal wave, and I struggled to keep my head above water. Shame and… betrayal.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Madame Gombert handed him a blanket, and Dylan wrapped it around me as my tears continued to flow down my cheeks.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” he said quietly. “I thought yesterday when you mentioned your mum and Billy that you’d remember. And I knew that when you did… you’d be…” His voice trailed off.

“Like this,” I sobbed.

He nodded and tightened his hold on me. “I’m so sorry, Emily. I cannot tell you how many times I wished I’d never invited them.” He closed his eyes, in obvious pain. A pain I shared.

“It’s not your fault!” I exclaimed.

He swallowed. “It weighs on me.”

“No, no, no.” I crawled into his lap and burrowed my face into his neck. He smelled of suntan lotion, clean laundry, and Dylan. I clutched at his T-shirt as he rocked gently to and fro.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry, Emily.” And he kissed the top of my head.

“It’s not your fault.”

Madame Gombert hovered in the doorway. “Puis-je lui apporter quelque chose?”

“Non. Je vais la laisser pleurer,” Dylan murmured to her. “Elle va sans doute dormir ensuite.”

“Make it go away,” I sobbed through my despair. “Please, make it go away.”

“I would if I could, sweetheart, believe me,” he whispered. And he held me tighter.

Lulu appeared in the doorway with Madame Gombert. “How is she?”

Dylan shrugged.

“What set her off?” she asked.

Dylan shook his head.

“I haven’t thought about them all day,” I said, my voice hoarse with anguish.

“You were having a good time. That’s allowed. It was such a pleasure to see you enjoying yourself. You’re in the eye of the storm, remember,” he murmured.

Madame Gombert ushered Lulu away while Dylan continued to rock me gently and croon soft words. Eventually, I fell asleep.

When I woke, I realized I was in bed, but the darkness had swallowed the entire room and I was totally disoriented.

Where am I?

Fear engulfed me, and I took a breath to call for my mother. And then I remembered.

She’s not here.

She would never be here, and the aching loss and sadness strangled me once more. Panting, from fear, sorrow… I didn’t know. I sat up and rubbed my face.

“Hey,” Dylan’s voice came out of the darkness.

“It’s so dark,” I whispered, my fear retreating at the sound of his voice.