Page 86

“Do you see?”

Yes.

I gave him a reluctant nod. Dylan cared about me.

“So why waste your energy feeling guilty?”

I said nothing.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” His eyes were probing.

No. No. Not this.

The silence stretched between us once more, and I was hurtling down to hell.

No. Please no.

“Emily,” he murmured, prompting me.

“I miss my mother the most,” I whispered and clutched my raised knees and began to sob, rocking to and fro. I had not acknowledged this to anyone, least of all myself, my guilty secret, popping out unexpectedly to some stranger.

Luke leaned toward me, letting me cry. “Emily, that’s perfectly natural. Of course you miss her most. She was your mother, probably your primary carer. The person you turned to in your hour of need. Your hour of need is huge right now, and she’s not here. Of course you miss her most. You mustn’t beat yourself up about that or feel that you’re being disrespectful to your father or your brother. What you’re feeling in these horrible, abnormal circumstances is very, very normal.”

I stared at him. His brown eyes were deep and caring. He was not the ogre I had initially thought.

“Enough for today?” he asked.

I nodded, relieved, but was unable to say anything more. I was too raw, like Luke had ripped the scab off my grief and picked at the wound beneath it.

He stood and opened the door, then ushered Dylan in. He took one look at me and glared at Luke in shock.

Luke shrugged. “She’s good, Doctor, don’t worry. Angry, though, and rightly so. You should prepare yourself. Emily, will you come see me again?”

In spite of myself, I nodded.

Luke smiled. “Well done,” he murmured. “You did good.”

I rose stiffly under Dylan’s anxious gaze. I stared down at the tissue knotted between my fingers.

“Next Tuesday. Same time, 9:30. Okay?”

Dylan nodded, and because I hadn’t moved, he came and put his arm around me and led me out.

“Jeez, Emily, are you sure you want to come back?” he asked when we were out of Luke’s office.

“Oh, Dylan.”

The dam burst again and I began to weep. He sighed and pulled me into his arms and let me ruin another of his shirts.

“Take me home,” I whispered.

I felt rather than saw his smile.

Home… Home was where he was now.

***

Dylan was setting up the laptop in the kitchen. I’d stared impassively at him when he mentioned it but didn’t have the energy for a fight. Besides, I missed TikTok and Instagram. It would be good to reconnect, and he was doing this because he cared.