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“It’s just I didn’t believe in Santa, you know,” Rhett said, his voice growing husky. “And I knew your mother couldn’t afford to get it for you. It all seemed stupid. I can remember being mad that everyone was pretending kids like us would ever get what we asked for.”
“But we can afford it now,” Jack said, clapping Rhett on the back. “Thanks to you.”
“Thanks to you,” Rhett said.
I opened his present to find a shiny red sports car with its top down. Of course Rhett got a sports car.
“This is hilarious,” I said.
“A house this nice deserves a decent car,” Rhett said.
“It only has two seats,” Holly pointed out, eyes dancing. “What about the children?”
“They’ll have to get a minivan, but not on my watch,” Rhett said.
A laugh escaped me, although my eyes burned. “This is … I don’t know what to say, other than I feel seven years old again. In a good way. Thank you. All of you.”
I touched the tiny red front door with the tip of one finger. For a moment, I traveled back in time to Stonehaven, standing in front of Murphy’s Toy Shop window, cold glass beneath my palms as I peered into the tiny rooms of the dollhouse I desperately wanted but figured I’d never have. Only there was no glass between me and the house now. It was all mine.
The little door swung open beneath my hand.
Jack and Grant brought the dollhouse to my cabin, each taking an end. I had them set it on the floor next to the fireplace and said goodnight, knowing Grant would sneak over the minute he could.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the dolls and what they meant. Was this Grant’s way of saying he was ready to come clean? What else could it mean? The dolls looked exactly like us. And he’d given them to me in front of everyone when he just as easily could have given them to me later when we were alone. Was he actually ready?
I sat on the floor, looking at each delicate, perfectly crafted piece before putting them back into place, all the while day dreaming about what it would be like to share a home with Grant.
Grant came to my door a few minutes later. I ushered him in, kicked the door shut, and threw my arms around his neck, kissing him.
“Thank you for the gifts,” I said. “The dolls … they look just like us.”
“They do, yeah.” He didn’t look directly at me, moving away to stand by the fire.
“Was it on purpose? Were you trying to tell everyone about us?”
He lifted his gaze, eyes pained. “I’m not actually sure what I was doing.”
All the air went out of me. I perched on the end of the bed. “Right.”
“I’m so way over my head here, Luci.”
“I don’t know what that means.” The tears were creeping up the back of my throat, threatening to flood my eyes, but I pushed them down, far far into the depths of my stomach where they could fester and probably make me sick.
Grant came to sit next to me, taking my hand. “I didn’t realize anyone would think they looked like us. To me, they were just dolls. I mean, I think so anyway. Maybe subconsciously I was projecting. I’m so in love with you I don’t know which end is up.”
I softened slightly. “I guess I read too much into it.” Not tonight, I thought. Set this aside. Tonight it was still my birthday and what I wanted more than anything was sitting right next to me, holding my hand. I’d agreed to the secrecy, after all. It wasn’t like I was a blameless victim in all this. And clearly Grant had no idea what he was doing when he chose the dolls he did.
Still, I clung to a small sliver of hope. If he’d bought the dolls resembling us subconsciously, then there was still a chance that he’d change his mind and agree to telling Jack the truth. Perhaps a sliver of hope was all a person needed to continue on the same path even when all road signs pointed to heartbreak.
18
GRANT
December 18
The Talent Show
High clouds · Snow on the way
