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I didn’t turn to look at him. “Just tell me. Did you talk to him?”

He took the chair next to me, his big hands played over his knees. “No, I tried but there was no time. Everything was so hectic today.”

“Right,” I said, flat.

“Luci—”

I cut him off. “Madeleine did it. Said who she loved. In front of everyone. And you can’t even⁠—”

“It’s not the same.”

“Isn’t it?” I asked, sarcasm creeping into my tone. “They snuck around all month. She pushed him away. Then made up for it by telling him she loved him, at the risk of embarrassing herself.”

He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know what to say here. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to him today. But I will. You have my word.”

“Forgive me if I’m starting to doubt your word.”

“This thing with Jack is loaded for me. You know that.”

“God, I’m so sick of hearing the same old thing. You obviously don’t care enough to take the risk. So I have my answer.”

“I don’t understand what you mean,” he said.

“Let me spell it out. Madeleine had no idea if Knox would forgive her but she put it all out there anyway.”

“And that’s what you want from me?”

“How could you ask me that? Of course that’s what I want. Why is this so hard for you to understand?”

“It’s not,” he said. “I understand. You hate the secrecy.”

“Um, yeah. I hate having to hide how I feel for you when we should be celebrating what we have in front of our friends. But apparently that’s too much to ask.”

“Why is it so hard for you to understand where I’m coming from?” Grant asked. “This band is my whole life.”

“And you love them more than you love me.”

“That’s not true,” Grant said. “I love you desperately.”

“I keep thinking about what would have happened had you not made it back to his cabin. They would have found you two the next morning, frozen to death. And I wouldn’t have even gotten to grieve as your girlfriend. Or the person you love so ‘desperately.’”

“But I did come back. I’m fine.”

He reached across the chair for my hand but didn’t let him take it. I got up from the chair and stood in front of the fire, watching him. Loving and hating him all at the same time.

“I told Knox,” Grant said.

That jarred me slightly. “And?”

“He wasn’t surprised. Said he’d suspected it for a long time.”

A little of my anger subsided, replaced by surprise. “Really?”

“Yep. And he said Jack would be⁠—”

“What?”

“Happy about it. Said I was a hero, you know, for saving him and that Jack would be glad you had a man like me.” He sighed, leaning over as if his stomach hurt. “But I’m not a hero. I’ve been too cowardly to tell Jack how I feel about you.” He scooted to the edge of the chair, his hands hanging between his knees. “When I think about telling him, I get stuck. It’s the look on his face, you know, when I tell him I’ve been lying to him.”