Page 31

Terrence was The Scream by Edvard Munch.

Thank God, I was not actively carving. Holy shit. I could kiss whoever just broke the door down for their thoughtful timing.

The silhouette of a man stood in the doorway, the light streaming in behind him shadowing his face.

“Louisa?” Hasan yelled, and I burst into tears.

“I found her… Yeah. I’m going to take her home.” Home! “She’ll be okay after she sleeps for a few hours and eats something other than leftover crab rangoon,” Has was telling someone on the phone. He held me in his arms and scratched my head through my ratty hair with one big hand. “Good idea. I owe you one, man. See you back at the apartment.”

I spoke into his chest. “Who are you talking to and why are you here?”

He ended the call. “That was Will, and I haven’t gotten more than a few texts from you in over a week, Lou. I was worried, and he offered to drive me down to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m not okay.” I’m a terrible person. “I’m a terrible person, Has.”

“You’re not. You’re just stressed—” he started, but I interrupted before he could make any excuses for me.

“I watched Will get blown by his girlfriend without him knowing.”

Over Hasan’s shoulder, Terrence stiffened. He looked like he was wearing someone else’s skin.

“Tell me you didn’t say what I think you just said, Louisa.” Has’s eyes were wide.

“Start to finish. I could have just ended the call, but he was so⁠—”

He steered me away from Terrence into a more private corner. “What the actual fuck, Lou. Did you tell him?”

“No! But I’m ninety-nine percent sure he figured it out. I’m surprised he drove you down here. He must hate me.”

“You’d deserve it if he did. He didn’t say anything to me…” Has was thinking out loud. “Wait, when do you think he realized the camera was on?” I noticed the subtle shift as he started to get the wrong idea. Like his blood was heating.

So I explained to him in painful detail what happened. How I’d made a noise and how he immediately protected Nathalie like a knight with his fair maiden. Why was that the thing I was hung up on?

Has was guilt-stricken over the realization that he’d left the call up that night without thinking. He explained that they’d run into each other in the hall, and, reading the room, he’d told them he was headed out and wouldn’t be home until late. He was trying to give Will privacy, but instead, he’d left him exposed to the absolute trash goblin that lived in his computer.

“So we agree I’m a terrible person?”

“Yeah, I mean, I love you regardless, but I’m not going to sugarcoat it; that’s pretty fucking bad. Like, I wonder if he could press charges.”

“It should be illegal if it’s not already. Can I citizen’s arrest myself? I’m a fucking mess, Has.”

“Why did you do it, babe?” he asked me gently. Worried.

That’s the age-old question, isn’t it?

Why did you let your best friend’s roommate get the blowjob of a lifetime without him knowing you were watching?

When I didn’t answer right away, he put his hands on my cheeks like a mom and forced me to look him in the eye. “Were you jealous?” His eyes flickered between mine, looking for the truth.

“No.” Yes!

“You’re lying, Louisa.” He was disappointed, but he didn’t push me to admit it. He already knew. “You need to tell him the truth. Ask him if he wants you to tell Nathalie.”

“I couldn’t see her face at all. I only knew it was her because he said her name.”

Has pitied me, that much was clear, but we’d always been each other’s moral compass, and he knew I needed him to give it to me straight. “That doesn’t make it okay.”

I blinked away tears. “I know.”