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Vivian waved from the kitchen with a wooden spoon. “Hi, William!”

“Hi, Vivian. Merry Christmas,” he said politely.

Then there was a slight, natural lull. Not awkward—just a breath.

“I, um,” Will said, glancing slightly off-screen, then back, grinning. “I got your gift.” His smile was huge. “You really outdid yourself, Louisa,” he laughed.

I did, too. I was beyond proud of it. I’d taken about a thousand pictures of it for Instagram.

“I freaking love it, Lou!” I heard Ciara yell.

“What did she give him?” Vivian asked Has.

Has described it to her. “Oh god, Viv. It’s a coffee mug but it’s shaped like an open mouth with human teeth along the rim. The tongue inside looks like it will lick you without your consent if you drink from it. It’s horrible.”

Best description. It was flesh-colored, with this sweaty glaze and pink gums. I was trying to make the most uncomfortable cup possible without it being unusable. I wanted him to think about me every time he looked at it.

“It’s disgusting and incredible,” he said. Like me, right? “I’ll love it forever.”

37

Pissed Off & Glorious

Boston, MA

Louisa

After a few days in the city with the kids and Vivian, I was beyond excited to see Will. I’d only allowed myself to FaceTime him once, when Has and I had taken the kids ice-skating and Has got me good with an egg in my boot. I was bouncing on my toes when he met Has and me at the studio.

We were heading to a club downtown for New Year’s Eve. I was having hot flashes just thinking about the last time Will and I were at a club together. This place had a heated rooftop where we could all watch the fireworks, and it sounded amazing. Will had worked until late at Eilidh’s and Has, and I had been pre-gaming, so we were raring to go when he finally showed up. Freshly showered and looking sexy in charcoal slacks and a black button-down. Very Dad About Town.

That’s why it burned when we walked in, and the first person to greet him was Nathalie, with a giant, beautiful, stupid smile on her face. I made polite conversation with Mike and watched her out of the corner of my eye. She said hello to Has and the guys and bumped Will’s shoulder with hers when she introduced her friends. I was instantly on guard.

She was kind to me, way nicer than she needed to be at all, and that made it worse somehow. I’d come here thinking Will and I were on the same page, but I’d obviously missed something big. These were two people who were undoubtedly still a part of each other’s lives. Will asked her about her trip home for Christmas, as if he knew the people she was visiting.

So this is still a thing.

I felt my stomach drop, hot and sharp all at once. Of course it was. Of course, he’d wanted to be friends. Of course, I’d built something in my head that wasn’t real. The Note was probably a list of everything he liked about Nathalie.

“Will told me you sold out your booth during the Christmas Market. Congratulations,” Nathalie said warmly. I offered a polite smile and thanks.

I checked my phone, suddenly desperate for an exit.

“They’re about to start the countdown. I’m going to go find Hassi to get my rooftop kiss.” I said with a shitty smile and a wink.

“Louisa—‘’ Will said. He looked hurt. Yeah, well, you and me both, you dick.

I turned around before he could finish and went for the stairs I’d seen Has go up a few minutes ago. He might be surprised when I randomly make out with him at midnight, but he’ll get it as soon as he sees my face. We never did need to spell things out for each other. Clearly, I can’t read Will very well at all.

But I could feel him following me up the stairs.

“Fuck off, Will,” I said over my shoulder.

“Wait, why are you being a bitch?”

I laughed, sharp and ugly. “I’m not. I’m just trying to find Hasan.” Where the hell was he?

“Did I do something wrong, Louisa?”