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I knock softly on the frame.

She looks up. “Hey, lovely. What’s up?”

I hesitate, one hand brushing the letters in my pocket. Then I step inside and sit on the gurney.

“Can you teach me something?” I ask.

Her brow lifts. “Depends on what it is. I know a lot of things, but even I am limited.” She pauses, mouth twitching. “Allegedly.”

I take a breath.

“Sign language.”

PART TWO

GLORY

CANNED GOOD DIVA: RECIPES TO MAKE EVERYONE STOP COMPLAINING

BY EDITH RUSSO

SPAM-A-GEDDON DELUXE

Ingredients:

1 can of Spam

1 can of pineapple chunks

1 dash of regret

Instructions:

Slice the Spam as evenly as you can. If the pieces come out lopsided, call it rustic and move on with your life.

Fry the Spam on the lid of a paint can until it sizzles and smells better than it has any right to. Pour the pineapple chunks on top for that “tropical vacation you will absolutely never have again” feeling.

Close your eyes and pretend there’s a beach breeze instead of rot in the air.

Eat quickly before the horde arrives, or before someone asks for seconds you were not emotionally prepared to share.

RAVIOLI REDEMPTION SKILLET

Ingredients:

1 can of ravioli

1 can of green beans (for “health”)

Whatever seasoning you’ve been guarding like it’s gold

Instructions:

Dump the ravioli and green beans into a pot. Try not to think too hard about the combination. Desperate times call for vegetables in places they do not belong.

Add a little seasoning. Not too much. We are surviving, not running a five-star establishment.

Heat. Stir. Pretend you are on a cooking show.