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“Is he one of yours? He hasn’t said much since he arrived.” Kit pointed to someone standing near the shore.

I turned to see Thomas Nguyen, one of our RIT—rapid intervention team—members, and I grinned. He didn’t usually come out for group events, but I was glad to see him at the beach.

Tommy stood with his back to the house, gazing over the white caps as they rolled toward the sand. I walked down to greet him and be sure he was okay.

“Hey, Tommy. How are you?”

He glanced over his shoulder. “Hey, Ember. I’m good. Any word on the probie’s fall?”

Tommy was referring to Procter’s fall earlier during the Boot Brigade Collectathon. Dumbass fell off the curb and sprained his ankle. He was on limited duty for two weeks, according to a post AB made on the crew’s group chat. “He’s gonna be fine. Light duty, which will give him the opportunity to make the station sparkle. Where’s your girlfriend? She couldn’t come on such short notice?”

Tommy frowned. “We’re taking a break. Lena’s on a girls’ trip to Cancun this week, and I guess she thought she might hook up while she’s there, so she said we were on a break.”

I chuckled. “How very Ross-and-Rachel of you.” I wasn’t expecting the blank stare. “Come on, man, that show’s still on television in syndication. You have to know what I mean.”

Way to make the boss feel old!

“Yeah, I was busy in STEM classes in the nineties. My mother is a physicist, and my father is an astronomer. Out of my three siblings, I’m the disappointment in my family.”

Tommy chuckled, but I could see his admission cost him some of his dignity. I hated that such a wonderful firefighter was made to feel that his chosen profession wasn’t good enough. We saved lives, for fuck’s sake.

“I’m sure you’re not a disappointment, Tommy. Hell, you handle a Halligan better than any firefighter I’ve ever met. You were awarded the mayor’s Medal of Valor for that damn fire at the youth hostel two years ago, when you helped ten people escape that burning building safely. How can your family not be proud of you for that?”

My reminder of just one of his heroic acts didn’t seem to make the guy feel any better, so I pulled him into a side hug. “Tommy, I’m sure I was a disappointment to my parents as well. I was the gay beach-bum son of the fire captain in Manhattan Beach. When I was younger, I’d rather ride the waves and play with matches than crack a fucking book.”

“Play with matches? Like an arson bug?” Tommy chuckled in a low voice, probably to avoid drawing attention to himself.

“Oh, I’d probably be living in my car and setting fires for cash if my father hadn’t stepped in. After I set his garage workshop on fire with a damn blowtorch when I was trying to melt some change, I was sent to military school and quickly figured out that I wasn’t soldier material. I liked the discipline and teamwork of the military, but the idea of training to kill a fellow human being wasn’t my bag.”

Tommy nodded. “My parents freaked out when I changed my major from electrical engineering to fire science. They didn’t see how the two disciplines were sort of related.”

“We have that in common. After I graduated from military school, I decided to study fire science at California State University in LA. Family expectations can weigh us down, Tommy. They get pissed when we don’t knuckle under and do what they want us to. What they’re sure is best for us without even asking our opinions. In the end, I think I earned my parents’ respect before I lost them a few years ago.”

I wasn’t talking out of my ass. I had experience with the shit Tommy mentioned about his family. It wasn’t anything I freely discussed because the pain was still there after too many years.

I sealed it up most days, but that fucking ache had a way of picking the lock on the inside from time to time. It seemed maybe Tommy dealt with the same bullshit in his family.

“Come meet JD. He’s a little shy, but he’s really a great guy. I think the two of you could be friends because I know you love music as much as he does.”

It was presumptuous of me to believe the two of them would have anything in common and could be friends. It was presumptuous of me to think JD had any interest in me either, but in a small corner of my heart, I held out hope.

Tommy and I walked back toward the house, seeing more of our crew on the beach. Some of the guys were playing frisbee, and others were tossing around a spongy football. It was familiar territory, hanging with my crew, and as I watched JD and River chatting on the back porch with Polly Scanlon, a fellow firefighter, and AB, our star in two arenas—chef and paramedic—it was more than I could hope for.

A group of friends getting together was nice to see. Getting together with a family, as I considered my crew, was amazing to experience.

River strolled the sand, hugging people and introducing himself to members of my crew he didn’t know. Arlo and Goldie showed up a few minutes later, joining River to meet everyone while JD stayed at the rear of their congenial group, smiling but not speaking.

Tommy strolled over to join the group as I observed from a few yards away. Everyone was getting along as I hoped, and I was looking forward to the rest of the night.

The food was absolutely fantastic, but I’d expected nothing less. My crew upheld our reputation as one of the best firehouses for eats in Southern California—mostly because of AB and Fischer Baker, our medic team, who were both incredible cooks. They’d gone head-to-head with a few firehouses in charity competitions around LA County, and Station 2 had come out at the top twice out of four competitions.

JD walked over to me with a smile, which was exactly what I wanted to see on his handsome face. “How come you didn’t invite a date? I know you and Georgina aren’t a couple, but surely some pretty lady must have caught your eye at some point.”

I stared at him for a moment as I tried to process his words. “JD, didn’t you take away from our conversation earlier that I’m gay?”

Surely I’d said those words at some point. As I shuffled through my few discussions with my new roommate, I came up blank, unable to remember ever saying my truth.

JD’s face froze in surprise. “You’re… Are you? You’re gay?”