Page 60
Can I talk to you for a minute without an audience?
Lerner glanced up and looked around until they spotted me and made a motion toward the house. I nodded and walked over to River. “I’ll be back. Make sure Thatcher’s okay for me, will you?”
Riv kissed my cheek. “I’m on the case.”
I laughed. He was a fabulous best friend.
I grabbed a fresh glass of wine before entering the kitchen. A beautiful woman directed caterers on where to put chafing dishes on a long island in the kitchen. She was young—probably the Kendra who Kit had referred to earlier—and based on her snarled look, she appeared to be unhappy about the guest list, for no reason I could imagine.
I ignored her and led Lerner into Nate’s office, closing the door and sitting on the leather couch. Lerner joined me and grinned. “What can I do for you, JD?”
“I should have called you earlier, but something was just sprung on me this afternoon on the way here. Can you do some research regarding domestic partnerships in California? Thatcher brought it up, and I’m not sure what to think about it.”
“Domestic partnership? Is Thatcher pushing it? Why?”
I sighed. “I want to leave the band. I won’t be able to play the bass again, and I want to leave the band. I’ll lose my insurance when that happens, and I’m not through this yet.” I held up my ugly, scarred hand to emphasize my point.
“Okay, JD. Do you know you won’t be able to play again for sure?”
“I’m pretty sure, Lerner. My PT said it might take up to eighteen months before I have full use of my hand, if I ever do, and the band can’t sit back and twiddle its thumbs for eighteen months while they wait to find out if I can play again. Tell me what my options are regarding insurance coverage and royalties if I leave the band.”
I sounded frustrated, and I hated that Lerner was bearing the brunt of my anger at the whole situation. I’d been the idiot who never asked any questions when it came to negotiating our contract with Sound Wave. Now that I was looking at failure, it seemed important to have a much clearer picture of my financial situation.
“Okay. Maybe things aren’t so bad. You could make a full recovery, you know, and quitting the band will seem like a bad idea.” Bless Lerner. They were so supportive. They were a good friend to the band, and I hope they’d still be my friend after I left.
“Oh, so we’re rubbing a magic lamp and waiting for a genie to grant my wish?”
Lerner laughed. “Do you believe in genies?”
I stared at them. “That’s funny. You’re the smartest person I know, Lerner. Tell me if it’s a bad idea to enter into a domestic partnership with Thatcher because I’ll need insurance once I leave the band.”
Lerner smirked. “Why don’t the two of you get married? You’ll get more benefits.”
I inhaled and looked at the marble tile where I was standing. “Because he didn’t ask me.”
Before I could catch my breath upon realizing why I was against the domestic partnership, the sting behind my eyes didn’t relent. I began sobbing, and Lerner wrapped me in their arms. Why was I crying hysterically?
“JD, dear, only you can control your future. You’re a talented guy, and you can do anything you want to. The lyrics you write are beautiful, and you can make a career out of writing your beautiful songs. Your entire worth doesn’t depend on whether you can play the bass. You have so damn much to offer the world. Don’t devalue yourself, JD.”
I exhaled. “You’re an amazing person. Have you ever been in love?”
Lerner smirked. “Yes. I’m in love with myself. It’s taken my whole life to figure out that I’m the most important person who should love me, but I’m finally there. Maybe someday, I’ll find another person who understands the path I’ve walked, but if it never happens, I’ll be okay. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’m not going to let anyone steal that from me because I’m not who they think I should be. Now, are you going to be satisfied with being just a domestic partner to Thatcher?”
After a quick chuckle, I responded. “I don’t think so. Is that bad?”
Lerner leaned forward to hug me again. “No, but don’t you ever settle for less, JD. You deserve everything life has to offer. We both do.”
“Thank you, Lerner.”
The party continued, and my mind went into analytical mode. Why had Thatcher suggested a domestic partnership instead of marriage? Did I want to marry Thatcher? Yes. Was I pissed because he didn’t ask me? Yes, though it was too soon to make permanent declarations, wasn’t it?
I returned to the back patio, and once I was seated, Nate stood and held up his hands as Lerner returned to their table. “I want to say welcome to everyone. I’m happy to have all of you here. I think it’s long overdue for us to get together again. So, uh, what do we need to discuss, guys?” Nate asked, smiling at all of us.
Riv stood, returning Nate’s smile. “You wanted us here to discuss the future of the band.”
Nate nodded and turned to stare at me. “I hear that you may want to leave the band. Is that true, JD, and if so, why?”
I sucked in a breath, looking around at all my bandmates and their significant others, along with the support staff for our band. They were staring at me as if I was letting them down, and I wanted to die.