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Every time I look at his tiny wrist wrapped up in a cast, I get that awful squeeze in my chest all over again.
Theo lasts maybe another twenty minutes before the adrenaline finally wears off. He eventually knocks out cold in my arms, his head heavy against my chest, two fingers tucked into his mouth. Soft little snores puff warm against my collarbone while his newly casted arm rests carefully across his stomach.
I shift him slightly, making sure his wrist is supported, and press my lips to the top of his head.
The room feels completely different with him asleep. And with nothing left to distract me, all I can do is sit there holding my sleeping baby and wait.
Simon is still glued to his phone, thumbs moving nonstop. Every so often it vibrates with an incoming call and he declines without hesitation, going right back to texting.
I can feel the irritation building in my chest every time I glance at him, so I keep my eyes on Theo instead. I trace the bridge of his nose with one finger, then the curve of his lips, letting myself drift back to when he was tiny. He’s done this—sucking on his fingers—since he was a newborn. We’ve been trying to break the habit, but I secretly love catching him like this. It’s the only time he still feels like my baby instead of the wild, running-around toddler he’s become.
“You ever think about having another?” The question slips out before I can stop it.
Simon’s thumbs freeze on the screen. When I look over, he’s staring at me like he’s not sure he heard me right.
“What?”
“Another child,” I repeat, keeping my voice low so I don’t wake Theo. “I know kids were never really your thing, but… do you ever think about it? Giving him a sibling.”
The thought of Simon having a baby with someone else hits me like a punch to the ribs. I have to blink hard to keep the sudden sting of tears at bay.
He leans back in the plastic chair, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “I've thought about it. Being an only child sucked, I would have liked for him to have a sibling.”
I don’t even know how to relate to that. My parents had more kids than anyone I’ve ever met—six of us total—and now that we’re all grown with families of our own, Theo has so many cousins sometimes I forget he’s technically an only child.
“What about you?” Simon says, his voice rougher than before.
I shrug, eyes dropping back to Theo. “I’d like to. But dating hasn’t been going well.”
“I thought you were seeing someone?” His voice is sharper, almost accusing. Like I've done something wrong.
My heart slams against my ribs so hard I’m worried it’ll wake Theo. He cares. The realization makes my pulse race.
I look back at him, studying his face. He’s usually so good at hiding what he’s feeling—part of the military training—but right now it’s written all over him. His jaw is tight, muscle ticking, teeth clenched. He’s jealous. The thought sends a dangerous warmth through me.
“No,” I say, watching him closely. “It was just one date. I didn’t want a second.”
“Why not?” He leans forward, phone forgotten in his hand.
I hold his gaze, my own eyes drifting down to his mouth before I can stop them. The truth sits heavy on my tongue—that it felt like cheating on him, that I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else, that seeing him in that tight black t-shirt and gray sweatpants right now is making it impossible to think straight. But I swallow it down.
“Just didn’t feel right,” I answer instead, my voice quieter than I intend.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Simon runs a hand through his hair, looking suddenly restless. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. About my girlfriend—"
A knock on the door cuts him off. A nurse pokes her head in, looking apologetic.
“Sorry—there’s a Veronica Wheelmen here? She says she’s a step-parent.”
My head whips toward Simon so fast I know I’ll have a stiff neck tomorrow. A step-parent? His girlfriend of a few months? The sheer audacity makes something hot and ugly twist in my chest.
“Why the fuck is she here?” I snap, not bothering to soften my tone.
Simon’s face drains of color.
The nurse shifts awkwardly in the doorway. “I’ll… just have her wait at the nurses’ station,” she says, ducking back out before either of us can respond.
I turn on Simon the second the door clicks shut. “Did you tell her she could come? Is that what you were about to tell me? You really think now is a good fucking time to introduce your girlfriend to-”