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“She always liked this room,” Theo said hurriedly. “Remember when you brought her here the first time? She said she’d go to this school one day and be the best student they’d ever seen.”
“Then she’d tried to pull the swords off the wall. Said they were hers because her name was Drakharrow and she wanted to take one home,” I said dryly. “I remember. The little tyrant princess.”
“She was a brat,” Theo said softly. “But she was our brat.”
I didn’t respond.
“She died quickly.” The words came out of Theo’s mouth in a rush. “I don’t think she was in pain. It happened fast. So fast.”
I sat up, leaned forward, my hands wrapping around my knees, knuckles white.
“I don’t think she even knew it was me who … who did it. I think it happened so quickly she didn’t even see. I like to think she didn’t, anyways.” Theo’s face was a picture of misery.
My spine stiffened.
“Just let me get it out, Blake. Just let me say the words,” Theo begged, rushing on. “Then if you want to hit me or kill me … whatever. It’s your right, I know it’s your right.” His face became stoic. “At least I’ve already said goodbye.”
I choked. “You’ve what?”
“I’ve already said my goodbyes. Not to everyone, I mean. Just to Vaughn.” There were tears in his eyes. “I left him a note. He won’t come after you.”
I almost choked again. Nearly said I wasn’t afraid of Vaughn Sabino. But that wasn’t the fucking point, was it? The point was that my little cousin was afraid of me.
The dragon inside me tensed, sensing opportunity. The chance to kill. I slammed it down hard. “I’m not going to kill you, Theo.”
Theo’s whole body seemed to sag. “You’re … you’re not?”
“How could you even think that?” I said, suddenly angry. “You really think I’d do something like that? That I’m what—the next Viktor?”
“I don’t know,” he said slowly. “No, not like Viktor, of course not. Though, he’d certainly like you to be.”
“I’m not Viktor,” I snarled. “I’m nothing like him. I’d never do that to you. I’ve stood up for you. I’ve tried to help you. We’re fucking family, Theo.”
“I know, I know, all right?” Theo’s voice was pleading. “But, Blake, that’s the point. Aenia … She was family, too. I killed my own family.”
I stared at him trying to really understand. Trying to absorb the cloud of guilt I now saw hanging over him. He’d done his best to hide it from all of us these past few days as we’d all struggled to process that night, each of us in our own way. Theo had waited patiently, grieving alone. He hadn’t even told Vaughn he thought his cousin was going to eventually come for him. No, he’d written Vaughn a letter. Because the words were too heavy, too terrifying to even say aloud.
“You seriously wrote your boyfriend a letter?” I shook my head. “So right now, Vaughn is what—reading it and thinking I’m murdering you here in this tower?”
Theo looked sheepish. “Maybe.”
I laughed out loud. Some heads turned towards us, then just as quickly whipped away. “For fuck’s sake, Theo.” I stood up. Theo shrank back. I held up my hands. “May I?” I sat down on the couch next to my cousin. Then, shocking even myself, I slipped one hand around the back of his neck—not roughly but firmly—and pulled him towards me, tilting my forehead so it rested against his. “Theo, you don’t get it. You just don’t fucking get it, do you?” I whispered.
“Get what?” he whispered back, his voice trembling a little.
“You spared me. You fucking spared me.”
“Spared you? What do you mean?”
I let go of him and sat back, breathing hard. There was water in my eyes, but I blinked it the fuck away. This wasn’t the time, not when Regan and her posse could march back in at any moment.
“You did what I’d have had to do. What I knew I’d have to do.”
Theo’s face was still uncertain.
“There was no hope for Aenia. Don’t you think I knew that?” I shook my head. “She was turning feral. I fucked up the moment I saved her life. I ruined things, like I always do.” I swiped at my eyes with the back of my hand. Fuck no. Not in the common room.
Theo was staring at me in wonder. “Blake, is that what you think? You think you ruined Aenia?”
